Panda's sit back and admire. This gate is designed to achieve the highest states of consciousness No keepers were harmed in the making of this gate Image: Wikipedia |
Friday 30 December 2011
Pandamonium #2: Pandagate Vs Red Feminist Conspiracy
Thursday 29 December 2011
Giant Panda Wildebeest in Meat Photo Shoot
Panda eating Wildebeest Did the Wildebeest jump or was it pushed? |
Wednesday 28 December 2011
Beware the Web
The World Wide Web Trying to Prevent the Inevitable Communication Breakdown |
Proof, if it was ever needed, at the darkness that lies at the heart of the internet. We must be wary at all times using our computers, you never know what lies underneath, or who or what is controlling the information. If, as this picture shows it is spiders then we are all doomed. It can only be a trap.
Monday 26 December 2011
Cosmic Latte: Did the Sun Let One Off?
The Met Office said that Northerners are no better at coping with the cold than southern larger drinkers. As this is the same people who predicted a BBQ Christmas* I remain to be convinced. However, in a way they were right about the BBQ element, if you considered the sun let a couple off this festive period.
Sun's Christmas Message: Ill Winds
"what the Christmas star looks like in the 21st century" Some had hoped it would be Santa Image: Roman Breisch |
Sunday 25 December 2011
Shocking Revelations: The Ferengi Scrolls
Does this alien control fiscal policy? Is he responsible for the Kraken's rage? Does he rub lobes with the Kraken? |
Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
Thursday 22 December 2011
Old Age Terrorists #8 Up Yours ******
I haven't mentioned old people lately as I have been focused on the threat from the Kraken, however I have not forgotten the threat from elderly yobs. It is after all the time of year when propaganda is at it's height and we are subjected to the pure mind melting onslaught of asking for alms for grumpy, old undeserving bastards.
Seriously you would be better off giving your money straight to a hoodie so they can score some Haribo. At least with the young there is time for them to change their ways. Unlike this vile fingered 89 year old yob who 'meant' this foul gesture:
Wednesday 21 December 2011
Release Santa: The Miracle of Rebirth
What Santa will look like if we do not release the Panda |
Evil knows no bounds. How else do you explain this article:
Tuesday 20 December 2011
Christmas Pandamonium
Copycat Bastards I Blame Hislop for nicking my ideas I mean he hasn't denied it! |
Sunday 18 December 2011
Dave the Lizard Defending the Tithe
Panda shows reaction to latest economic news Image |
'Cameron is not defending Britain. He is defending his banking paymasters' Craig Murray
Whilst the media have been portraying the recent war with Europe as a staunch defence of Bastardness, it is no surprise that this was stretching the truth where no truth existed. Lizard Dave did this trip knowing his absence from the Bastard Isles would bring down God's wrath upon Scotland as evidenced by the Almighty storm that hit 165mph up a mountain somewhere in the far inhospitable North. There is a reason the Roman's built a friggin' wall - do we never learn the lessons from our past? The lax policies of invading liberal 'larger drinking' southerner Gauls through the years sadly failed to build upon this foundation and keep on building to protect us from the olde Northern Threat.
Sunday Exclusive: French Stick in Britannia
The French trying it on with our Fat Slags |
My highly trained but spiritually unmotivated monkeys have found this shocking story which is completely true, however I have redacted names to protect the fallen. However some of it remains graphic in nature and tissues should be kept handy for readers of a Daily Mail persuasion:
Friday 16 December 2011
Sun[god] Latest: #Manumission for CASH
Whilst distracting everyone with the Phoney War with France, the Bastards have been working hard behind the scenes to develop Europe's own Star Wars Programme. GingerZilla exclusively revealed how a missile clearly hit the Sun[god]. Now the Coalition Against Scylla Haters (CASH) have launched another attempt to control the source of our power. This time however the Sungod was ready and deflected the so called 'Comet Lovejoy*' but showed mercy by letting it live.
Thursday 15 December 2011
Badger Caught in Honey Trap
troops blamed for 'badger' plague
Honninggraevling Sounds lydmalende [onomatopoeic] |
This is an outrage! Even if this Daily Telegraph story is over four years why should I be excluded from showing rage now that I've just found out? The media are full of such story rehashing and as a proud but unemployed tabloid journo wannabe, I claim the right to follow in their footsteps by staying at home or going down the pub. How else am I expected to find sources? Right now I am stuck indoors. It is not safe to go out due to the incoming threat from the North and the cold winds are blowing hard over these Bastard Isles.
Tuesday 13 December 2011
#OccupyTuesday: @LudditeDave < Message in Mudbrick
Monday 12 December 2011
Bob Sauce: WeatherGeddingit
The Bastard Isles to be shown who is King
General Confusion to reign
Mostly at the Met Office |
Sunday 11 December 2011
Scotland Braves Sun[god]'s Wrath
Conclusive Proof It's Grim Up North |
I warned a long time ago about the threat from the North. Those naughty Scots have been very naughty by wanting independence in defiance of the Unionists and Tory Party. That is why staunch government sources are saying the 165mph winds recorded on Thursday are punishment from God.
There are no Problems only Solutions
Do poor people really need limbs? If we remove their hands they cannot beg Image: Mihail Chemiakin: The Children – Victims Of Adult Vices |
Agent Arsenal Bob has revealed secret government plans so that taxpayers no longer have to fund their fellow man. A speech will explain how the Spirit of Enterprise and tax payers must be allowed to breathe again after being nearly suffocated by the needs of poor people. It's only fair. Other policies include:
Thursday 8 December 2011
Panda+Coffee=Addictive Love
Almost a shame to drink it. Is this how Santa ended up with a Panda inside of him? |
The Year of the Panda
The K Index can't be arsed and is doing a Panda |
The Sun is continuing to defy the best efforts of David Cameron and Nicholas Sarkozy who sent a missile into the face of the sun because it wasn't doing what they wanted. The Sun has now flatlined in protest.
All I Want for Christmas is War
It appears Mexico has backed down in their ongoing war with the United States and refused to take political prisoner Saadi Gaddafi. This could be a breach of international obligations but since no one cares about them any more we will move on.
The liberal idiot Jon Stewart has declared war on Christmas (see video below if it works why not try giggle). This is typical of liberal idiots always getting it wrong. It's Santa that needs to be taken out so we can free the Panda inside him. Reclaim the Festive season and get back to worshipping the Sungod and his Panda. As Hannibal said in antiquity, 'Of course I have a plan. But it's a secret.'
The Panda Inside Santa Must be Freed! Is this picture from Wikipedia Panda Porn? |
Tuesday 6 December 2011
#OccupyTuesday Pandamonium
The dangers of saying No to a Panda are not as well known as they should be. Not only is there video evidence of this but my sources confirm:
Though the panda is often assumed to be docile, it has been known to attack humans, presumably out of irritationThis is a perfectly natural response most people have to other people on occasion, like listening to the evil one and his beliebers or when watching the X-Factor which were combined to such effect this week that the UK had a mass protest against him last week.
Clarkson the Defence+Latest on Cameron's Austerity Christmas
Not Guilty (of some things) Image Wiki |
There are more important things to worry about than what some balding and irrelevant middle-aged man might have said on a crappy [BBC] show.
Sunday 4 December 2011
Cameron's Austerity Christmas
Dave with his hounds after a successful mission to the pole Image ©MrMurray |
With Briton's increasingly turning to suicide to evade paying their debts, British Prime Minister David Cameron has called for a radical rethink of Christmas in the Age of Austerity. According to sources, Dave has been increasingly concerned that some may take the easy way out and kill themselves. Increasing suspicion has been thrown upon the evil old Terrorist in the North pole and because as a child he didn't get what he asked for despite several faxes to Santa. This resentment has festered and Dave has asked his servants to 'sex-up' a document so that he can take out the Old Man of the North. This is not the first time that Dave has attacked Santa. Five months ago, John Wiltshire of Newsbiscuit revealed that Dave
Saturday 3 December 2011
Only the Shadow Knows
The Shadow is the enemy of the Mongolian Warrior. America will be cast into darkness. Behold:
Thursday 1 December 2011
Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson is Innocent* +Updates
"I would have them all shot...I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families. I mean how dare they go on strike when they have these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed, while the rest of us have to work for a living."
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