Prophet George*

* although to some he will forever be known as Rufus. Which as many West Londoners will know is a dogs name.

Permanent Testosterone Tension

is this the Real Elephantitis?

The following report has finally been passed for release by the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Development in Science, known as GONADS. Avid readers of this blog probably won't remember the campaign of Freedom from Information, however the emails, supposedly deleted in error by an over zealous foreign temp in admin, have been leaked onto the internet.

An internal inquiry by Lord Touch of Kicking was inconclusive and a monkey blogging from his laboratory was arrested, publicly flogged before being released on bail, that is until the story blew over and all charges were dropped. A Bonobo source we asked has denied rumours he has an offshore bank account, although did admit he had substantial shares in a banana plantation.

Dave's Benefits Shocker: Jobs for Cabbage Patch Dolls

The Tory Party Work Waggon came to take the local benefit scroungers home after their day in the fields.

With the economy in a slump, poor people never cease in their ability to entertain the privileged - as long as they are in cages, behind walls or being viewed from afar. My source Bob has exclusively revealed to me that Dave 'the Lizard' Cameron - who may or may not end up scrounging in bins for party funds if his cosy dinners are stopped - has decided to launch an offensive against anyone on disability benefit. This is part of his wider war on benefits which has Daily Mail readers ordering record quantities of tissues. With the War on France* still at the phoney stage it has been decided that we should at least be fighting something. Now whilst fighting poverty is seen in some nefarious quarters as a laudable leftie [translation: communist rat] thing to do when you are not chucking bombs at brown people, for those of a more right wing persuasion there is nothing better than smashing the poor in the face marching poor people to the Gulags where they can begin to earn their keep and eat cabbages. If it gets really cold then there's nothing wrong with burning poor people as a sustainable heating source.

Why the Queen is not a LIZard

Colourful Clothes are Acceptable. Thoughts are Not.
Outside Buckingham Palace yesterday.Image: Retlaw Snellac

Did those feet from ancient times walk upon our green and pleasant land or did the sun fail in the sky and the heavens cried. Whilst the rest of the world will revel in the glory of the morning star, heralding the change in the heavens, we are cast under clouds. But it shall not always reign over our blessed sceptred isles

#VolcanoPorn Spurting

Krakatau a sign of blocked spurtage
The Kraken is vital to the rhythms of the Great Earth Mother.
and spurting.

Traditional beliefs about volcanoes

Many ancient accounts ascribe volcanic eruptions to supernatural causes, such as the [hard] actions of gods or demigods. To the ancient Greeks, volcanoes' capricious power could only be explained as acts of the gods, while 16th/17th-century German astronomer Johannes Kepler believed they were ducts for the Earth's tears.

AGWOE*: When Septic Sceptics Speak

The Augurs were heavenly yet ominous.

On the Eighth Double Tuesday of the Mighty 12
I saw the warning signs in the heavens. The Antipodean Beast came to these shores to launch his latest assault on our consciousness and he took away my voice. I had to learn to speak again. I was sent down into a deep darkness as the forces of evil reached inside.

ADVERT BREAK: Tory vs. Salmon (ft Nazi Panda Bear)

Some have speculated this Panda is in a medically induced coma, some have even said they are performing a nuanced interpretation of the last days of our economy as it turns into a zombie leaving the viewer wondering how long the apocalypse can feature in sequels. Yet when viewed through the softened lens of the Theory of Bob, one can see the Panda exploring the light within and without. In a single gesture this Panda has conveyed all there is to be said for the economic and weather forecasts for 2012 yet leaves us with hope. In a powerhouse performance that must surely be entered for this year's Turner Prize, we are shown the solar kick, not once but twice 1-2 confirming it's mystic origins. 

Magic #3: Flatulent Earth Theory

He may be old but his understanding of theory is impeccable. 

I cannot discount his words just because of this or that he has a beard.

In the Innu mythology of Canada, Matshishkapeu (literally the "Fart Man") is the most powerful spirit, a legendary shaman capable of inflicting gastrointestinal pain or relief. [Wikipedia]

Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson is Innocent* +Updates

Jeremy Clarkson commented on the supporters of General Strike and said:

"I would have them all shot...I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families. I mean how dare they go on strike when they have these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed, while the rest of us have to work for a living."

Roseanne Barr appearing in new TV show #occupywallstreet*

Max Headroom and Max Keiser
No one has ever seen them together...

...Hmm

Despite appearances, I don't always follow American politics. My immediate fears lie with the Northern Threat. Despite this apparent lack of focus, I think I have just watched former comedian Roseanne Barr announce her candidacy for president of the USA! This is her Killer Policy:

Message from the Sun God

The Sun God has spoken. It is communicating with us. He bears gifts for humanity. Check out this Smiley

Image: SpaceWeather.Com

Knock Down Ginger

     

I should have a sense of fellowship for my Ginger brethren - I am after all a vociferous exponent/activist for Ginger Rights and with good reason.