The Honey Badger Trap

Sometimes we must admit defeat and accept what is inevitable. It is not so much a case of ticking one of the multiple choice questions and hoping for the best, but realising 'if you can't beat them, join them'*. However, such nuances are lost in the sway of politics[*] where the tanker has, at vast expense, to navigate half the planet ploughing through everything in its way before it can finally change course. The rest of us palm our foreheads wondering why the political classes cannot see, hear or speak the fucking obvious!^ As I revealed in Badger Caught in Honey Trap. Behold;  

If ClarkSun respects the Honey Badger, so must we respect all badger...There will be no Badger cull. I am not negotiating on this one. Even a squadron of B52s cannot take them down. I have [new] video evidence:

EXCLUSIVE #NaturePorn Bongo Bongo Native with no Bikini

Our exclusive* video shows sex crazy incapacity benefit claiming asylum seekers from Bongo Bongo Land engaging in arduous^ physical activity AT YOUR EXPENSE!

#SpacePorn Lunar Strokes

Result!
A Full Moon can give Men Heart attacks!*

Abstract

OBJECTIVE:

Lunar effects on human behaviour and health have been postulated for centuries; associations between phase of the moon and both vascular and psychiatric disease have been reported. We hypothesised that admission with medically unexplained stroke symptoms would be influenced by lunar cycle... 

RESULTS:

There were 7219 admissions during the study period, comprising 167 complete lunar cycles. Stroke admissions were evenly spread throughout lunar phases (P=.72). Admission with medically unexplained stroke symptoms was significantly increased during full moon phases (P=.023). There was no variation in admission rates during other significant dates. 

CONCLUSION:

There was a statistically significant association between admission to the acute stroke unit with a diagnosis of medically unexplained stroke symptoms and lunar phase. The reasons for this observed variation remain elusive; our data do not support a convincing biological or psychosocial aetiology. Link (**)

* and stupid women if we are to be inclusive.

(**) may require your sort code and bank account details which will be passed on to a third party Ugandan wanted for questioning by Detective Horace Von Khute.

New Cuban Missile Crisis: Meteorite American Haarp* Weapon

Russian Bob reports:

the America Imperialist Pig is planning to capture an asteroid and hold small brown countries to ransom if they don't hand over the black gold. 

He also reports NADA may have been behind the meteorite that squeezed into Russian airspace using Haarp* to lull it down from the heavens. This may explain why first hand reports in the Urinals of Russia reported that

Sun[god] to Dave Kiss my Ring

When they said it was a very hot curry...

For the past few days I have been in a deep comatose state trance communicating with the Sun[god] asking why cats are allowed to exist and why there is a such a lack of media frenzy about faith facism*

Pret withdraws 'Virgin Mary' crisps bbc.co.uk/news/uk-213060… Christofascists! Coming over here trying to put us under Vatican law #FaithRage

— theGingerZilla (@thegingerzilla) February 2, 2013

GONADS: Eat Pussy

Newborn Killer/Furry Murdering Bastard

GONADS, the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Development in Science have been warning us for aeons just how dangerous cats are. It is proving difficult to find witnesses as they keep turning up dead. Behold;

Driving Miss Daisy

GONADS, the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Development in Science have found evidence which strongly suggests it may be too late to save the planet.

I did ask them what the fuck a dog driving a car had to do with the threat of the cat plague killing all of humanity. An ear was cocked in my direction and I knew the answer was before me. Cats are fucking useless. What cat could ever do anything of use - let alone drive a car?

DISCLAIMER: GONADS would like me to affirm that they have no financial interest in the extermination of cats and have offered this service free. According to their spokesmutt, it is scientific FACT that the extermination of cats would be beneficial for mankind, ushering in a new dawn, and that the benefits for dogs are vastly overstated.

Solar Elephant After His Hole?

Shocking "huge prominence" by Michael Buxton

If the above image is as SpaceWeather speculated an Elephant then it may have foretold of Mitt Romney's visit to the Holy Lands of Britain and Israel where he was greeted as a leper and Messiah respectively. 

However, a far more plausible theory was that it was a woolly mammoth, a portent foretelling not only how bloody cold it's going to get but the chosen would be hidden from what is to come. Behold

Permanent Testosterone Tension

is this the Real Elephantitis?

The following report has finally been passed for release by the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Development in Science, known as GONADS. Avid readers of this blog probably won't remember the campaign of Freedom from Information, however the emails, supposedly deleted in error by an over zealous foreign temp in admin, have been leaked onto the internet.

An internal inquiry by Lord Touch of Kicking was inconclusive and a monkey blogging from his laboratory was arrested, publicly flogged before being released on bail, that is until the story blew over and all charges were dropped. A Bonobo source we asked has denied rumours he has an offshore bank account, although did admit he had substantial shares in a banana plantation.

Why I Hate Pussy – A Conversation with a Hairy Dog

In the interests of open debate,  it is only fair to ask a dog for his opinion* 

ADVERT BREAKAGE

Three high solstice ago: "the web and tabloid worlds were outraged that someone had the courage to stand up and finally put a cat, that if we are being honest, was asking for it, in a bin"

This view is not the most popular despite fanatical levels of persecution, prosecution and party political prostitution in the viral and real worlds. Despite the offensiveness of the language these hardcore views are shared by millions of vicious and very vocal followers. The following interview was made possible through a Vulcan Mind Meld, Bovril and a chunky calculator. A thoroughbred Mongrel, represents a group who have been accused by some, mostly cats, of being extreme lobbyists. They prefer to describe themselves as a ‘non-profit organisation' with the explicit aim of more 'dog oriented' understanding and research in science. The call for the elimination of cats in their manifesto is they claim, 'based purely upon the science'. Let's face it a Dog won Britain's Got Talent - a cat stand's no chance of becoming best of British no matter how many cute propaganda videos YouTube can spew up from it's vaults

21st Century Communist Rats

COMING TO A THEATRE NEAR YOU
GONADS researchers* have found evidence of a communist plague**

Smiffy has always hated Chelsea Chelski, but he hates rats even more which is saying something. I haven't asked him how he feels about the communist variety as it may remind him of a traumatic childhood event when he came under the influence of this radical children's television presenter and part time rap star

How the Sun Kicks Off a Party*

We are connected, because everything is connected even though we do not always remember. We entered a solar wind stream which is not good as the Sun has gut rot after gorging itself over the Christmas period. These are not loud earth shattering blasts but silent but deadly emissions that contain highly charged particles. We felt it in Europe where 2012 really did come in with a bang. Behold: 

Rabbit Killing Newt Goes Free

Why did no one else listen when 
My Chemical Romance
said
Run Bunny, Run?
[Artists impression*]

I am disgusted that there has not been an uprising by sane thinking Americans after Newt Gingrich recently said 

There are lots of bunny rabbits to run through, I am the tortoise.

This not just telling the world he is a lizard, which is shocking enough, but he has explicitly admitting that he has premeditated the heinous crime of running over cute bunnies like these:

Needy Animals

Emotional blackmail.
Cats should be put down*

Guest Post:

Dark Matters: Spray Painting your InitIation*

NASA, ESA and R. Massey (CIT)

3D [*third eye] distribution of dark matter in the Universe

I am working exclusively today on a new TV program**. The stars are real cops that play cops and robbers with toy weapons, bringing the gritty realism of the streets of Belfast (c. 70's-80's) and Belgrade (c. 1962) bang up to date on the streets of England and Wales. It will be a good old dirty youth fight, with plastic bullets and water cannons daily on prime time Daily Express TV (Channel 5). If this happens during a cold spell this could be excellent as we watch protesters freeze to the spot, making beautiful living (for a short time) ice sculptures.

Sunday Exclusive: French Stick in Britannia

The French trying it on with our Fat Slags

My highly trained but spiritually unmotivated monkeys have found this shocking story which is completely true, however I have redacted names to protect the fallen. However some of it remains graphic in nature and tissues should be kept handy for readers of a Daily Mail persuasion:

XFactor News: #ReclaimXmas Assassination Plot on Santa Discovered

He Who Must Not Be Named at Christmas

It is a well known FACT that NORAD have been tracking elderly northern terrorist Santa since 1957. However, researchers at GONADS, the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Development in Science, have discovered a secret bankers plot to take him out and possibly do unspeakable things to him and Rudolf. They have sent their representatives and lawyers to sound out the locals to see if they are willing to testify. Failing that they will pay for them to testify. Whilst I would generally agree with the capture and possible prosecution of Santa and am deeply concerned that the bankers are messing with powers they do not understand. There is a fit and proper way to deal with these things before going on a mass land grab, even if it is for appearances only. This does bring up the question of why the bankers feel that now is the time to take out Santa?

X-Factor News: War Declared on Santa - Kitten Put Down

ITV received several complaints after Saturday's programme of adverts was interrupted by the X-Factor. A technical failure was blamed on BT. This is not a coincidence. Nothing is statistically speaking. But several users of BT should take this opportunity to complain through BBC Watchdog. On second thoughts scrap that Anne Robinson may be ginger but she was born on a Tuesday and there is a red conspiracy that lies at the heart of BBC programming.

Loch Ness Monster Seen on Surface of Sun

French sources have been watching the power of the Sungod and have said :

"the giant prominence is evolving very fast now ! When I started imaging it was looking like a Diplodocus !

I am no skilled amateur at this. I am truly gifted because I was given the gift of sight after experiencing 17 aftershocks. The gateway opened on 11/11/11 did not let in Dinosaurs and was not a metaphorical message to dig trenches, which German Chancellor Angela Merkel used just so she could mention the war. It's not a dinosaur, it's not a serpent or even a Chinese fire dragon, it's clearly a Nessie.

Striking the Sun God - Man Takes on the Sun

They said it was a comet that 'disintegrated' as it approached the Sun God and coincided with an explosion :

"The timing of the CME so soon after the comet dove into the sun suggests a link. But what? There is no known mechanism for comets to trigger solar explosions...pure coincidence is still the most likely explanation...Could a puny comet cause a magnetic instability that might propagate and blossom into a impressive CME? The question is not so crazy as it once seemed to be." [Comet and CME, spaceweather.com]

This is not scientists admitting that the assumptions we have built our world upon, like the speed of light not being exceeded, how the sun works or the universe that surrounds us, have gaping holes in them. Scientists don't admit things like that. It's bad for publicity and makes you look like you don't know what you're doing, which even if true still doesn't look good. It's an image thing, even if science has founded itself on trying to discover what it doesn't know rather than preaching to the converted.

No contamination
outside the dead-zone

Considering Scientists and Governments keep telling us Nuclear Energy is safe as earthquakes continue to conspire against our reactors and forcing them to shut down because they are not up to the job of the earth rattling a wee bit, it's not good to admit we're not sure any more. Civilisation will surely fall if we admit that we are not omnipotent. However since there is no known link between the sun and earthquakes (it's all a coincidence like Tories and Riots) I turned to Hollywood to understand the motives of nefarious governments (how else would they normalise the unthinkable) and found out they are trying to Restart the Sun! The Sun is not doing what it should and so needs to be taught a lesson - who else but mankind could take on God?

It was then I did as Spaceweather advised and watched again. To my disbelief I saw not a comet, but a cosmic missile that scientists have fired to test a theory Mankind or the Illuminati is trying to control the Sun God. Sod, declaring war on Mexico, we just declared war on the Sun!

The Sun's Face is Censored by Scientists so we cannot see it's pain.