Wednesday, 30 January 2013

GONADS: Eat Pussy

Newborn Killer/Furry Murdering Bastard
GONADS, the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Development in Science have been warning us for aeons just how dangerous cats are. It is proving difficult to find witnesses as they keep turning up dead. Behold;
Domestic cats in the United States kill up to 3.7 billion birds and as many as 20.7 billion mice, voles and other small mammals each year, biologists estimated on Tuesday.
Even my ears perked up when I discovered these furry murderin' bastards are a greater threat to biological diversity than Global Warning Sharks. Behold;
Puss is probably the biggest human-induced killer of these species, outstripping better-known culprits such as habitat loss, agricultural chemicals or hunting, they said in a study published in the journal Nature Communications. 


It seems this sparking some much needed debate which the all powerful cat lobby are trying to stifle. Behold:
I've been on television for the last two nights talking about the SPCA [New Zealand's Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals] – they've been doing trap-neuter-release of stray cats. They're euthanising fewer and fewer cats, and releasing more into the free-to-range environment, and they're building up the colonies...I've offered them a $5 bounty per cat if they trap wandering cats and, if it is found to have no owner – if they're not chipped – then I want them to euthanise those cats, not release them into the wild....Let me put this another way – we do this with stray dogs, but not with cats. Why the discrimination? I think it comes down to the strength of the cat lobby.
Now the cat apologist who was interviewed alongside our brave whistle blower tried to imply this was a 'cliché' and even mentioned old ladies in their defence, which avid readers will know are terrorists. but this is part of an organised effort to make out anyone questioning the all powerful cat lobby as a conspiracy theorist or in need of immediate psychiatric help no matter how cogent their views. Cat owners are so deluded they would call a desperately needed cat cull a holocaust which is more offensive than the current terrorists using the word for their own nefariousness means.

Heaven knows how the all powerful cat lobby would react to the views of the GONADS member I exclusively interviewed in Why I Hate Pussy – A Conversation with a Hairy Dog
Well you humans can accuse governments of ruthlessness and spin to push their interests but they are liberal pussies compared to cat propagandists. The scale of this conspiracy is unimaginable to the human mind. We’re not talking a government spinning a fictitious war, this has been going on for millennia. It’s not just the Koreans, or South East Asians that eat dogs. That’s the kind of bad press we get. In the East we’re marketed as food, in the West it’s marketed that we eat children.
Of course whilst this may sound far fetched it sounds positively sane compared to the unhinged views expressed by the cat lover
There is definitely a quite disturbing victimisation of cats in this country among those who hate them, which seems like a superstitious hangover from the days of torturing innocent women and their so-called "familiars" for alleged witchcraft. Maybe it's just all a manifestation of the worry people have that cats will one day take over the world
A far more sane approach, by virtue of not having a mind self abused by cats theory pollution, was put forward by someone accused of having an 'anti-cat obsession'.
a cat cull would improve the environment far more than any of the anti-global warming schemes dreamed up by the environmentalists.A cat cull isn’t just desirable, it’s an environmental necessity
By the same thought process of accusing this hero of having an obsession, it could be said that parents whose children have been sexually abused are obsessed with destroying the lives of priests and radio presenters but we all know that would never happen....oh hang on

No comments: