As I have listened to the prophets of doom - generally coming from the direction of my television - telling tales of how the economy feels, I suddenly realised that the mighty global economy is a living breathing entity. In ancient times it was known as the Kraken and it likes stalking Greece.
Unfortunately our leaders keep trying to give the Kraken worthless currencies and derivatives when he only deals in gold. It is by consuming immense quantities of gold that the Kraken will release a golden shower on the people. Now one has ever witnessed this sacred event but that is to be expected as the economic model fails only because the Pharisees and Sadducees have not been able to gather enough gold from the people despite centuries of trying. The failure therefore lies not with the policy but that it has not been applied hard enough. This is I have realised the point of trickle down economics.
Unfortunately our leaders keep trying to give the Kraken worthless currencies and derivatives when he only deals in gold. It is by consuming immense quantities of gold that the Kraken will release a golden shower on the people. Now one has ever witnessed this sacred event but that is to be expected as the economic model fails only because the Pharisees and Sadducees have not been able to gather enough gold from the people despite centuries of trying. The failure therefore lies not with the policy but that it has not been applied hard enough. This is I have realised the point of trickle down economics.
It is my considered opinion, backed by hours of internet trawling, that The Kraken is the biggest threat mankind has ever faced , like ever.
We must keep paying the golden tithe. If not then He will never release the great golden shower upon the masses. Do we really want to find out what happens if we don't keep sacrificing to our economic gods? What if we're wrong?
2013
- 23 Jan Germany Demands Gold for Kraken Gold needed to fight evil french socialism
2012
- 21 Dec Kraken down on the Banks or Why the Poor Must pay
- 17 Dec Kraken down on Deniers or Fear of limate
- 5 Dec We Don't Need no Stinking Gold Standards or the Controlled Demolition of Sterling II
- 27 Nov Kraken down on Gold or the Controlled Demolition of Sterling
- Halloween Special America Mobilises Crack Squid as Kraken Invades Japan or Lost in Translation
- 14 Oct Cuban Sword[fish] Plot on President Stopped or Far Eastern Cooking for Beginners
- High Solstice The Kraken Built Stonehenge or The Jenga Blocks of Antiquity
- 24 May No Gold for Kraken Shocker or How the Fed are fleecing the Kraken
- 15 May Kraken Threatens to Eat Polar Bears if Demands not Met or More pole action with the Kraken
- 8 May Launch Madness on the Kraken or NASA takes evasive action to defend against Kraken
- 29 Apr The Kraken: Going for Gold or REVEALED: The Military plan to defend the City
- 15 Apr F1 Torture* Set to Run or Kraken says no to gold for oil
- 23 Feb Nothing to See Hierro: The Volcano Porn of Middle Earth or Hot webcam action starring the Kraken in...Club Med Escape to Victory
- 1 2 City Under Siege: Cameron Calls for Mass Sacrifice or Why invading France will save us from the Kraken
- 12 1 Scotland to be Privatised or English Gold has been their bane
- 5 Jan 12th Night: Release the Kraken for 2012 or
2011
- 25 Dec The Ferengi Scrolls or The Rules of Acquisition
- 22 12 Golden Showers or Crack whores
- 18 Dec Cameron Defending the Tithe or Blasphemous Words
- 16 Dec Manumission for Cash or Dodgy Dealings +Comet Lovejoy
- 30 Nov Kraken Turns on Profit George or Book Burning in the 21st Century
- 25 Nov Resident Evil: the Kraken Redux or Zombies are everywhere
- 23 Nov Death and Taxes or the continuing adventures of the Kraken
- 17 Nov NASA Discover Atlantis: Ancestral Home of the Kraken or Space News
- 7 Oct Cameron Forgives Greece and Rioters will Kraken?
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