Solar STD's The Virus of Twits

Solar Ring hur hur hur

It is a well known fact, that Americans don't get our humour. They apparently don't do irony either. It is also quite well known that idiots run the world because that is what I always keep hearing. With humour, irony and idiocy in mind behold how this budding terrorist was stopped at the borders as the war on language continues:

Homeland Security reported: "Mr Bryan confirmed that he had posted on his Tweeter website account that he was coming to the United States to dig up the grave of Marilyn Monroe. Also on his tweeter account Mr Bryan posted he was coming to destroy America." Caution on Twitter urged as tourists barred from US

However all this is a side show to hide us from the scary truth that governments and secret groups share peculiar handshakes and compare their willy sizes, that little green men do exist....or that the Sun[god] is sending us messages that only I can interpret;

City Under Siege: Cameron Calls for Mass Sacrifice

The Profit George pinches himself,
a spokesman said this showed his reluctance to hand over the Tithe
demonstrating the pain he shared with others
Some sources have claimed he was crushing our heads and not pinching our faces

Premonitions of the Faces of Evil

Some of the Kraken's effluent
He may have escaped three cycles ago
He must be lured back to the Med
Image: Broken TV.

The future, the past and today are all the same.

The threats we face today are no different than those of our ancestors.

We are their collective imagination

What will be, has been

There is only FutureHistory

I intend to write it

Old Age Terrorists #10 Trail and Prejudice

GingerLeaks Exclusive

The Flanders Pigeon Murderer

Rush Release: Due to the importance of this and upcoming emergency developments following the Met Office claiming we are in for El Scorchio, I have had to release this early. Expect further developments to be added shortly.

I have uncovered secret video tape of trial of the most wanted person in the known Universe, Captain   Mainwaring [pronounced Manner-ing]. I hear his great crimes have something to do with leakage, which is a common affliction of the elderly. This is a great sign as it shows governments are taking seriously the threat of coffin dodgers now and are ensuring they never see the light of freedom. But is it enough considering the explosion of oldies?

#OccupyTuesday: A Letter to my Old Age Stalker*

4th Double Monday of the Mighty 12

*A letter to my stalker in the hopes it will appease him. I do not want the old people realising my policy proposals are not satire. This small font is one small way of combating them and, like governments, treating them like mushrooms by keeping them in the dark and in the shit. The only bad part of keeping them in the dark is they have more money towards winter fuel payments and less die as planned. There is however the plus side which is the energy companies can recoup some of the vast amounts these scroungers scam from them every winter by wearing extra jumpers and hiding under blankets.

Dear Les, 

I didn't know they were after the Acropolis** as the cost of export would be prohibitive with rising fuel costs despite the recent plunder of Carthage.

The Great Fight with France

How could I not compare  one diminutive French leader to the other?
Both have no neck either and could be described as 'quel connard '

After giving this much thought, I now see that war is needed and not just a Twitter war on beliebers.

Needy Animals

Emotional blackmail.
Cats should be put down*

Guest Post:

ADVERT BREAK: Tory vs. Salmon (ft Nazi Panda Bear)

Some have speculated this Panda is in a medically induced coma, some have even said they are performing a nuanced interpretation of the last days of our economy as it turns into a zombie leaving the viewer wondering how long the apocalypse can feature in sequels. Yet when viewed through the softened lens of the Theory of Bob, one can see the Panda exploring the light within and without. In a single gesture this Panda has conveyed all there is to be said for the economic and weather forecasts for 2012 yet leaves us with hope. In a powerhouse performance that must surely be entered for this year's Turner Prize, we are shown the solar kick, not once but twice 1-2 confirming it's mystic origins. 

Sun Pulls Cheeks Apart

I really hope there are not many particles this time

Coronal holes are places where the sun's magnetic field opens up and allows the solar wind to escape. This yawning hole is about 120,000 km wide and more than a million km long. Solar wind flowing from its UV-dark abyss will reach Earth on Jan. 16th or 17th, possibly sparking auroras for high-latitude sky watchers.

SCROLL UPDATE 3rd Double Monday of the Mighty 12: 

Scotland to be Privatised*

Wanted for Crimes Against the Union
Links with far right?

"Alas, I have often said to myself what are the boasted advantages which my country reaps from a certain Union that counterbalance the annihilation of her Independence, and even her name !" 

Scotland, a place where there are twice as many Panda's as there are Conservative Members of Parliament, may be punished for the indiscretion of Salmon as dark forces threaten to tear the union apart. Rumours have circulated about affairs and rumours persist that our former friends in the North are conspiring with those even further North. Even if these rumours are found to be just that, sources have said they may just privatise Scotland anyway to bind them to the Union as it would offend God to break it and because it's only fair that someone makes a profit. One set of two-timing bastards have accused the other half** of vile things and expect them to lie down and take it, however asking any Scot to lie down and think of England is hardly going to get them in the mood for getting into bed, especially when there's no gold involved.

Everything is Connected

Guest post by Cosmetic Brain Surgery [annoying commentary by GingerZilla]:

Cosmic Latte: Artists illustration of the Sun[god] sending particles
Is there a connection between solar pyroflatulence and auroras?

It is how our ancestors became one with the spirits. They listened. They danced. They sang. They worshipped the Sun[god] that brought them life and light. Without these warm, loving rays we would not exist and so our ancestors built monuments to chart our passage through the heavens [erm are you sure about this GONADS have some startling revelations and it doesn't involve the Sun[god] in this way. Why haven't you mentioned the Kraken yet?].