#InformationWars : The Fightback Against Evil Fokkers

"I don't even like ice cream, I just enjoy the sound of a child's screams."

With those words, finally the truth has crossed the threshold into electronic print at the notorious hotbed of communist rat propaganda that is the Guardian. These words, from an unnamed but obviously meticulously reliable source, finally speaks truth to power and challenges the long held falsehoods of apologists against action. Behold!

It is often said that in the event of a nuclear war, the only thing left will be cockroaches. But that’s sadly not true; cockroaches aren’t that much more resistant to radiation than we are. You know what creature is incredibly resistant to radiation, though? A type of wasp! 

I was nearly in tears reading the following for the concise nature in which the problem is presented and a measured* solution proposed

This probably won’t surprise anyone. If presented with the option of using nuclear ordinance to get rid of the vicious, evil-looking, voodoo-mastering, picnic-ruining, child-antagonising scourge of the air that is the wasp, they’d probably think it worth the risk. So of course, wasps would scorn our mightiest of world-ending weapons. And let’s be honest, when faced with a swarm of Asian Giant Hornets, atomic retaliation wouldn’t even seem that disproportionate.

Sir, I not only applaud you, I demand that you sacrifice yourself to eradicating these little flying fokkers and becoming the first martyr to the cause.

Now whilst this may sound quite drastic, we should heed the wise words of our most honourable parliamentarians

“Identifying potentially invasive species prior to arrival is critical as once organisms like the frightening Asian Hornet are here, they can be very difficult to control.” Political Sourcery

So if not for our greater cause, which should be my interests and mine alone, then think of the bees

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There are also effects on ecosystems which indirectly affect humans. In some cases ecosystems altered by invasive alien species may be less able to provide important ‘ecosystem services’ which support human activity. For example, the pollination carried out by honeybees may be affected by invasive alien species - the yellow-legged hornet, native to Asia, has been found to devastate beehives in Ffrance. Suspiciously old source

We have defended our Island before from the threats from france, now we must do so again only this time I firmly believe attack is the best form of defence.

* As avid readers will - and bloody well should - know, I am in favour being tough on vvasps and even tougher on the causes of vvasps. I will reserve my most extreme flights of zealotry in pursuing those apologists who deny the science of GONADS and harbour these fokkers. It is quite possible that in order to obtain my goals I will therefore have to retain - on an emergency basis due to the unprecedented, dire nature of this threat - anti-Terrorism laws which have been used against most brown people, the general populace and the parents of school children. No one, and I mean no one will be above suspicion.**

** noting of course that my coterie, suppliers and people I want to owe me favours are excluded. 

IMAGE: Wickedpedia