Tuesday, 22 April 2014

The Honey Badger Trap

Sometimes we must admit defeat and accept what is inevitable. It is not so much a case of ticking one of the multiple choice questions and hoping for the best, but realising 'if you can't beat them, join them'*. However, such nuances are lost in the sway of politics[*] where the tanker has, at vast expense, to navigate half the planet ploughing through everything in its way before it can finally change course. The rest of us palm our foreheads wondering why the political classes cannot see, hear or speak the fucking obvious!^ As I revealed in Badger Caught in Honey Trap. Behold;  
If ClarkSun respects the Honey Badger, so must we respect all badger...There will be no Badger cull. I am not negotiating on this one. Even a squadron of B52s cannot take them down. I have [new] video evidence:
Whilst Environment Secretary Owen Patterson, in a fit of pique at being outwitted by Badgers, may covertly be planning pens military prisons on the Isle of Wight, a more sensible idea would be enlisting Badgers as a crack tactical force. 
Honey badgers, actually members of the weasel family, are startlingly resourceful when it comes to things like opening human doors and gates, as the program documents. Farmers consider them a nuisance, as do beekeepers, since the animals like to snack on the contents of beehives and can tolerate being stung. One strand of the program deals with a beekeeper’s efforts to build a honey-badger-proof hive, which, it turns out, may be impossible. 
It is quite possible that Honey Badgers have all the characteristics necessary for an 'nasty' career in politics. Behold;
The honey badger, we are left to conclude, is an admirable but not particularly lovable beast, reclusive, disrespectful of boundaries, seemingly perpetually hungry and perpetually angry. Also, it has another defense strategy besides biting: a scent gland similar to a skunk’s
“That’s truly awful,” says a zoologist who is observing some badgers in South Africa at perhaps too-close range when one deploys the weapon against a hyena. Then he adds, struggling to breathe, “I don’t know how they live with themselves.” 
Here’s how, to quote the noted honey badger expert Randall: “Honey badger don’t care.” Suspect American Source
- or at the very least sending them munitions, because arming fanatics when you have no idea of the outcome is a good thing for the democratic process. 
[**] this is of course a different kettle of fish than a media fuelled crisis in which case it is advisable to spin continuously so that the dizzy plebs will not bother to read the ill thought out, hasty legislation created to deal with the crisis by not actually dealing with it in any way or form. What is the point of having legislation if doesn't include a free 'Get Out of Jail card' for fully paid up members? 
^ of course it is entirely possible this impairment could be caused by a conflict of interest but the jury is out and is quite possibly stacked. Behold;
This is where Pamela Anderson and the Baywatch cast make up the jury. Or where a defendent, knowing how little justice is to be found in our courts paid extra money for an - ahem - extra fair verdict. Or threatened to beat up one of the juror's kittens. Comedic Source
DISCLOSURE: GONADS, the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture & Development in Science, have vehemently denied threatening to beat up the juror's kittens, although they have not denied eating them.

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