Wednesday, 23 November 2011

War on Mexico: America sends in the Grunts

BREAKING: "Mexico fights invasion...Animals crossing into country from Texas"

I warned that GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry was planning a war on Mexico. Now I have found that the Republican stronghold of Texas is regularly sending 50,000 grunts onto Mexican soil in a massive escalation of hostilities although as no one has actually declared war, it's still not a war like the Vietnam Conflict. 

The Grunts, descended from a race of Europeans, are according to my sources "ferocious, destroy crops and attack humans...weigh an average of 220 pounds [100 kilos or 15st 10.5lb], with some weighing up to 330 pounds [a whopping 150 kg or 23st 8.7lb]." 

War on Mexico:
Steven Seagul takes on Aliens

These sources have confirmed that many return to the safety of the United States at night to sleep before crossing back into Mexico. Mexican officials have unveiled plans to "slaughter some 50,000...that have crossed the border from the US." Such is the war of words that those crossing from US soil are called 'feral' and in some instances 'pigs' whilst "authorities intend to use cages with food inside to trap the animals."  

It is shocking that relations have deteriorated so much although this may be a result of increasing poverty levels and economic hardship on both sides of the border. Texan sources have informed me that  in "every year since 1980 Texas has had a higher poverty rate than the US." Across the border in Mexico poverty levels are as high as 40%.
Poverty in the Lone Star State
Image: Texas Politics
I believe that hunger is driving these forays across the border. At the time of going to press I was unable to confirm if this was related to recent foreclosures of fast food chain restaurants or if the locals had a craving for decent burritos. 

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