Monday, 17 December 2012

NASA to Kill Lunar Robot Twins

As the penultimate Double Monday of the mighty 12 rolls over this planet I can exclusively reveal a suicide mission by NASA to take out the Kraken's base of operations in Europa. They are sending robot Martyrs who will sacrifice their microchip souls after being promised some virgin hardware in Silicone Heaven. The conversation may have gone something like this;
KRYTEN: "He's an android. His brain could not handle the concept of there being no silicon heaven."
LISTER: "So how come yours can?"

KRYTEN: "Because I knew something he didn't."
LISTER: "What?"
KRYTEN: "I knew that I was lying. Seriously, sir. 'No silicon heaven'? Where would all of the calculators go?"
Sources have revealed this is a secret Missile Test in preparation for a full scale assault on Atlantis [by Jupiter!] which avid readers of this blog will know is the ancestral home of the Kraken.

Image credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/GSFC/ASU
No imagery of the impact is expected because the region will be in shadow at the time. The impact site is located near a crater named Goldschmidt
How convenient that this just happens to occur when we can't see a bloody thing. Evil deeds are always concealed when night finally falls on old things. 
Our lunar twins may be in the twilight of their operational lives, but one thing is for sure, they are going down swinging," said GRAIL project manager David Lehman of NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif. "Even during the last half of their last orbit, we are going to do an engineering experiment that could help future missions operate more efficiently.
Grail linked to Lunar Martyrdom

No comments: