Sun Pulls Cheeks Apart

I really hope there are not many particles this time

Coronal holes are places where the sun's magnetic field opens up and allows the solar wind to escape. This yawning hole is about 120,000 km wide and more than a million km long. Solar wind flowing from its UV-dark abyss will reach Earth on Jan. 16th or 17th, possibly sparking auroras for high-latitude sky watchers.

SCROLL UPDATE 3rd Double Monday of the Mighty 12: 

I may have misread the signs from the heavens, although I have called it right overall. Whichever way you chose to define the emissions it was a stream released from the Sun[god].

However, in the interests of balance and fairness I looked again at the revelation I first saw after downing 17 aftershocks. I admit it could well be a one eyed monster

or possibly a queef**

and there are some hints from rather aptly named 

Sosnowski adds that the cold air surging east will also awaken the Great Lakes, with snow whitening areas downwind for a good 24 to 36 hours following the frontal passage*

No one has commentated on the need for cooling creams or reported any rashes upon the face of the earth.
* I don't do smut, I merely highlight it. Mary Whitehouse would be proud.
** statistics and South Park have shown that most men are grossed out by this. After centuries of Dutch Ovens it's only fair.