Saturday, 7 April 2012

How the Sun Kicks Off a Party*

We are connected, because everything is connected even though we do not always remember. We entered a solar wind stream which is not good as the Sun has gut rot after gorging itself over the Christmas period. These are not loud earth shattering blasts but silent but deadly emissions that contain highly charged particles. We felt it in Europe where 2012 really did come in with a bang. Behold: 

*The Sun doesn't do international date-lines**
Unfortunately as I was writing this transmission I had an image of pure evil and hatred. flash around me. I would have been offended enough to litigate and send letters, if I hadn't moved at lightening speed. 
"This was an auspicious start to 2012," says Ashcraft. "Clear skies and Happy New Year!"
I sent a beam to the hate box and was saved by hedge fund manipulator and philanthropist Louis Winthorpe III and  President Blutarski[v]. This could be pure statistical randomness, but with so many signs in the heavens, do you dare doubt me? Only a fool or belieber would not believe. 

In other news, China's gift of ultimate Zen to the world has created an anti Panda environment. Whilst some sources have cited cultural differences, I believe this is due to a lack of Panda porn. If only more people would come to my world and experience Panda+Love they could sate their need for Panda's eating meat. It never offers the only solution is violent revolution. Even Bob has seemingly jumped on the bandwagon and is considering a molestation order against Pandas (he's not sure which one although he assures me it was definitely a Panda). He alleges a flashback after hearing that the news that web cams were being switched off. For good measure I will also take one out against beliebers who offend me psychically and spiritually. 
Believers, I have been in a daze since the solstice, my pale ginger body needs gold in winter to remind me of the Sun. To reflect my master the Sungod, I need gold in winter time. It is partly an aesthetic thing and I am  making these demands for all gingers - except those I excommunicate. The scientists at the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Development in Science fully endorse my decisions. That means I have scientific proof of my theories and when that fails there is always psychic channels and the Theory of Bob. The point is, I have it on divine proof and beyond reasonable doubt [iii]. It is proof the gold must be handed over donated to save mankind.
Particle landed off the coast of Japan
Oh, God of earth and altar
Bow down and hear our cry
Our earthly rulers falter
Our people drift and die
The walls of gold entomb us
The swords of scorn divide
Take not thy thunder from us
Take away our pride
These gold members saved me from him and for that I am eternally grateful. It was a metaphor for the seed, the waves of light in many ways, that enter us. 

The Sun[god] saved me.

** or internet chat rooms with web cams. 
[iii] in my mind at least as the statistics show
[iv] Iron Maiden have a lot to answer for
[v] I would have voted for him as POTUS any day

DISCLAIMER: My teachings are open to debate as long as you agree with me.

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