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| Penguin Whores |
Why have the tabloid Daily Shits* not been protesting profusely about this outrage and why have no bleeding heart liberals tried to #occupy** zoos, jungle warzones (of an officially dead Africa) or indeed the South Pole which is apparently quite hot these days if these sources are anything to go by;
[Black and White] Penguin Porn
The first documented case of prostitution in animals occurred in 1998 by Fiona Hunter...
The female penguins under study had long term partners. The females would go off on their own to collect pebbles and there was no indication of suspicion on part of their male partners. According to the observations and analysis made by Hunter, the prostitute penguins targeted single males, because if instead they picked a male penguin with a partner, "the partner female would beat the intruder up."[1]
According to the study and subsequent reporting by BBC, sometimes the female penguins would trick the males by carrying out courtship ritual leading to sexual intercourse. However, after taking the pebbles, the females would run off. BBC further reported Hunter as saying that the female penguins probably didn't engage in prostitution only for stones. Hunter believed "what they are doing is having copulation for another reason and just taking the stones as well. We don't know exactly why, but they are using the males." It was also possible that the females were testing potential future mates in case their existing mates died before the next mating session. The male penguins, according to the study, probably had their own pleasure as the motive.[1]I consulted the Great Orifice, staffed by unpaid slaves awaiting their instructions for online rebellion. These are some of those monkeys. Behold
Chimpanzees
A study conducted by the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany, and published online in the Public Library of Science, found support for the eat-for-sex behaviour hypothesis, according to which, in early human societies the best male hunters had the maximum number of sexual partners. Researchers observed chimpanzees in the Taï National Park and concluded that a form of prostitution exists among the Chimpanzees in which females offer sex to males in exchange for meat. According to Cristina Gomes of the Institute, the study "strongly suggests that wild chimpanzees exchange meat for sex, and do so on a long-term basis***".[3]
Crab-eating macaque
According to research paper published in the journal Animal Behaviour, as reported by The Cambridge Student, long-tailed macaque males use grooming to pay for sex.[2]
Capuchin monkeys
* As Panda's have proven, when you are producing shit it must be far more regular than once or twice a day. It could be worth seeking medical advice - if you can afford it.
** #occupy is officially dead and is in the slow legally binding process of eviction [followed by being ignored]. I have always preferred the word #reclaim if only for aesthetic reasons.
*** This is commitment to each other. Bonobos have always believed that three is better than two, although 42:1 is the preferred ratio.
In a study at Yale – New Haven Hospital, capuchin monkeys were taught to use food items as money. Researchers observed that some of the monkeys who learned the monetary value of the food items would trade them for sexual favors.[5]Bonobo will teach all to respect themselves through mystic sexual techniques, that may just bring about world peace. Things could get messy.
* As Panda's have proven, when you are producing shit it must be far more regular than once or twice a day. It could be worth seeking medical advice - if you can afford it.
** #occupy is officially dead and is in the slow legally binding process of eviction [followed by being ignored]. I have always preferred the word #reclaim if only for aesthetic reasons.
*** This is commitment to each other. Bonobos have always believed that three is better than two, although 42:1 is the preferred ratio.
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