Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Kraken Threatens to Eat Polar Bears if Demands not Met

Activists try and avoid being eaten whilst looking for bears that Mann hasn't eaten
BREAKING: The Kraken has threatened to eat all the Polar Bears unless his demands for Gold* are met. A crack squad of Global Warning Sharks has been sent on a mission to the North Pole in the hope of fending him off by bashing him on the nose a few times in the hope he heads back to Greece. Whilst many had hoped to encounter open waters, the Arctic is not as ice free as hoped

Battle lines are being drawn in this increasingly acrimonious war of words, but the Kraken does not care for words or scaremongering unless it explicitly involves him or he receives a tidy amount of Gold - which he is more susceptible to now that the communist rats in Greece have threatened to take away his Tithe, thus spoiling the changes of the Holy Golden Shower being released upon the masses.
Piss Artists impression of the Kraken's freedom bid Polar Bear Carnage
in Association with GingerZilla, 
the Global Warning Sharks 
World Tour 2012

T & C's: Ticket prices may vary and are subject to a non refundable six percent administration fee. All prices must be paid up front in Gold. 

* Less a six percent administration fee

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