Earth Mother Porn #2 Got Wood

I have always been wary of tree huggers like Cosmetic Brain Surgery. 

They say if you adopt a tree it can reduce your carbon footprint, however this takes a lifetime. Whilst planting a tree and watching it grow is very Zen thing, it doesn't offer much in the way of instant gratitude and is unlikely to help the economy in the short term, even if it would help our lives in the long term. Therefore with this in mind I propose a new stimulus...

More disturbing pictures follow when you read the...

We live in society hurtling through life at breakneck speed so there is a need to stop and pause sometimes.  This allows the formation of new ideas or the reintroduction of older ideas that we should never have got rid of in the first place, such as looking outside the window to see what the weather is like rather than relying on sophisticated models.

My ideas are approved by American Presidents through the ages, are for age old practices (not old age practitioners) and have many benefits; economic, social and medicinal. The scare stories in the media often fail to mention the biggest contributor to mental illness is not my solution or government policy but abuse, normally of a sexual, psychological or physical nature. However current proposals - stamping feet and doing nothing - allow the abuse to continue. 

The Willows had lost their charm after over dieting

When (and it is only a matter of when) pharmaceutical companies will be allowed to mass produce derivative sub standard products so they can charge above market prices for the privilege, by virtue of monopolisation and not competition. Pharmaceutical desire to pwn natural resources is not based in an altruistic desire to help people, nor a a love and understanding of the plant itself. Their behaviour bear all the hallmarks of psychopathy. They would gladly rob your dead mother - and probably already have - such is the desire to profit and stop anyone else copying them - regardless of the consequences. By Christmas mother nature will be subject to the intellectual property rights Mafia.  

Nymph or Nympho?
Will you judge this trees morals*?

Cosmetic Brain Surgery
Loves Trees

Hemp does seem a wonder plant and it would make a great central plank of policy for any government brave enough to take on the Daily Mail who like casting stones at everyone in the hope they don't cast their vigilante glances at them. The arch villain (because he was born on a Tuesday and owns an island in the Caribbean) Richard Branson recently challenged government policy, reminding what a useless waste of resources the current statutes were and demanding change. Even the Daily Torygraph chimed in accusing Dave the Lizard of 'cowardice' after saying this in 2005

Politicians attempt to appeal to the lowest common denominator by posturing with tough policies and calling for crackdown after crackdown. Drugs policy has been failing for decades. 

and then saying this in 2011;

Academy Award Winner

I think if you actually look at the sort of marijuana that is on sale today, it is actually incredibly damaging, very, very toxic and leads to, in many cases, huge mental health problems...the more fundamental reason for not making these drugs legal is that to make them legal would make them even more prevalent and would increase use levels even more than they are now.

Another quote for the collective memory hole. Although I do think instead of 'coward' they would have preferred to say 'pussy', but you can't really do that in a high brow broadsheet - asking governments to blow up defenceless brown people is however far more acceptable. 

Government Policy

Just to make sure we got the message the Torygraph put the [carbon] boot in on Dave again;

In maintaining our drug laws, the [Bastard] Government is in cahoots with the dealers. As [Gore] Vidal put it forty years back: “Both the Bureau of Narcotics and the Mafia want strong laws against the sale and use of drugs because if drugs are sold at cost there would be no money in it for anyone. If there was no money for the Mafia, there would be no friendly playground pushers, and addicts would not commit crimes to pay for the next fix. If there was no money in it, the Bureau of Narcotics would wither away, something they are not about to do without a struggle.” 

Adam Werritty and Liam Fox if the allusions of the media
were anything to go by

It's not hard to see the reasons given against the policy are weak at best, but resorting to this level of conspiracy is really uncalled for. The answer, as avid readers of this blog may already suspect, is far simpler. The guiding hand behind this is none other than the Profit 'coke and hookers' George, as revealed by Alan D Bryan:

'I have bigger weapon'
Diplomatic Relations

One acre of hemp can produce as much paper as four acres of trees. Hemp paper is suitable for recycle use 7 or 8 times, compared to 3 times for tree paper. 

 Repressed book burner George still wakes up in the middle of the night, haunted by that paragraph. 

The Blue Shoots of Recovery

* this is difficult to tell as no can of larger is being held. Also it is worth considering that on 22nd February 2012 most of the UK tabloids had Adele flipping the bird (not flipping the bean that's more an internet meme) on the front pages. Remember that next time they get you to hate on demand to some 'yob' flicking his fingers. 

Adele reacts to people who ask her to STFU about paying tax