Prophet George*

* although to some he will forever be known as Rufus. Which as many West Londoners will know is a dogs name.

#VolcanoPorn Spurting

Krakatau a sign of blocked spurtage
The Kraken is vital to the rhythms of the Great Earth Mother.
and spurting.

Traditional beliefs about volcanoes

Many ancient accounts ascribe volcanic eruptions to supernatural causes, such as the [hard] actions of gods or demigods. To the ancient Greeks, volcanoes' capricious power could only be explained as acts of the gods, while 16th/17th-century German astronomer Johannes Kepler believed they were ducts for the Earth's tears.

the Death Moon

The Empire's Destroyer
It's Uncanny

To some it looks like the fossilised remains of the notorious super weapon. This is a possible cousin of the Death Star but is not related to the Death Star Code. As it does not contain the sacred numbers - according to the Theory of Bob - it can only be evil and has no redeeming features.

Earth Mother Porn #2 Got Wood

I have always been wary of tree huggers like Cosmetic Brain Surgery. 

They say if you adopt a tree it can reduce your carbon footprint, however this takes a lifetime. Whilst planting a tree and watching it grow is very Zen thing, it doesn't offer much in the way of instant gratitude and is unlikely to help the economy in the short term, even if it would help our lives in the long term. Therefore with this in mind I propose a new stimulus...

More disturbing pictures follow when you read the...

Earth Mother Porn #1 Hard as a Rock

Human beings are pattern recognition machines. We place form and shape into the shapeless and formless. We create meaning from natural anomalies and connections from random objects. However, sometimes the shapes and forms we see are innocent until proven otherwise, lending credence to the idea that the smut content perceived is in the eye of the beholder. 

Be careful: Slippery When Wet

If you think the following pictures are suggestive in anyway then you are obviously a very, very bad person and not normal. However, instead of feeling guilt or shame for having a depraved mind - which statistically incorporates profuse amounts of ritual self abuse - maybe you should consider blaming the Sun[god] that made all things and stop reading posts like these or these or even these and especially not the ones I'll be posting the days to come*. 

Proof of Applied Bob Theory

On the sixth Double Monday, the Sun[god] danced for us

One week later, on the seventh Double Monday of the Mighty 12,  the Earth joined joined in the crack craic