Dave Rides Horse in Fake Prescription for Glue Scandal

Look into the horses eyes and tell me it's not bricking it.
It's even had its tail cut for ease of access.
No wonder they speak of posh people being 'horsey'

Is Dave the Lizard having possible relations with a horse and is this linked, in a statistically possible but highly improbable way with sex, drugs and animals? We know from previous cases this can never be a good combination and is most likely illegal in all known territories. 

No one has denied that the elderly horse at the heart of this shocking scandal has been taking prescribed substances. We do not even know if the prescription used to obtain the alleged drugs was genuine. I know this because it's a recurrent theme in the media when a performing animal is put down. What else could I be expected to think when I saw this byline

David Cameron confirms [he] rode former police horse Raisa while it* was on loan to [excommunicated ginger]  Rebekah Brooks - but not while prime minister

This nearly made me throw up my breakfast, but compelled to learn the truth I read on

David Cameron's efforts to edge away from  Rebekah Brooks...came unstuck on Friday when he was forced after three days of non-denial denials to admit that he had ridden on a horse loaned to her by the Metropolitan police as a personal favour. He said he had not ridden the horse named Raisa while prime minister. 

The last sentence is said in such a blasé way, as if it is unimportant. I can only surmise it is said with the complete and utter arrogance of a true cad. In polite society, this is unacceptable behaviour. Question will be asked and heads shaken. This is not enough. I demand a full public inquiry to know what drugs this horse was given so Lizard Dave could ride her, and I do not exclude innocent explanations. But the hardest question  for Dave will be to explain why he hasn't called her back.

"I did not have sexual relations with that horse"

* to deny this horse it's gender is an outrage and makes all the difference to how this story can be framed. 

DISCLAIMER: Like any tabloid, I never let facts get in the way of a good story.