City Under Siege: Cameron Calls for Mass Sacrifice

Is Profit George pinching our faces?
A spokesperson said Profit George is pinching himself,
demonstrating he shares our pain.
Some sources have claimed he was crushing our heads.

This solar cycle in Argentina, a psychic 3rd Eye fish, was fished out of the waters. Recently dead fish from Norway and America have emerged in the waters. Some speculate this could be radioactivity from Fuk-u-Shima, whilst others have said it's just one of those things when the winter winds and tides are high. That is what closed minds would believe because it is easier than the truth that genetically modified spawn of the Kraken may be swimming in our seas or that the fish know the Kraken is loose and are dying of fright. The Kraken was last seen on the Iron Island and was seen scaring several Canaries.[exclusive pictures coming soon]

Threat 1: Kraken in London?

Reports of the Kraken seen swimming up Thames** were wild on Twitter.

The river of fraudian slips which needs remodelling

The Kraken is finally free of the Mediterranean thanks to the Stingy people's of the Med not supplying enough gold. It is entirely possible that he could be heading for the City, his interest peaked by talk of Olympic gold. However, he would be in for major disappointment when he finds out the medals are about 93% gold free!*** The only hope the people of London - and by definition the rest of the Bastard Isles - have is for the much delayed cold spell this winter, to stay and force him to look further afield to warmer waters. It is entirely possible the Kraken foresaw the cold which has gripped Greece tighter than the Kraken and has even placed it's cold fingers over North Africa - a place we normally only mention when there's a few million more starving than usual. I am sure if we mention the Gold Coast of Australia and that Australia produces 245 tonnes of gold each year making it the second largest in the world, this would have the Kraken foaming at the mouth and ready to release his promised golden shower.

I am sure my stalker, the Antipodean Old Age Terrorist Les Johns, could aid me in my endeavour to make the Kraken seek a land down under (Les would refer to Queensland as Hades which is also a land down under). Les, like many other delusional and petulant old people, is under the impression that others with less experience of life don't know what's best for them and nor should they be telling them what to do. Les obviously does not know what is good for him and as his brain has been hardwired to think for himself he should, as he proposed, be made into soap. Thinking sets a dangerous precedent and is why any army prefers young mailable minds that are more susceptible to new ways of thinking. 

It is for this reason that governments are at this moment enacting Super Nanny legislation so that the elderly seniors realise that after a life of paying taxes they cannot simply expect a pay check every couple of weeks for doing nothing useful. Just because they have retired does not mean the state has finished with them. They must expect forensic levels of intrusion to justify the taxpayer supporting their frivolous, feckless lifestyles.

In future OATs welching on their winter fuel bill will not be tolerated
Image: Wikipedia

Les seems to understand the connection between Greece and the Tithe. Most interestingly he sees Australia going down a similar route at some point in the future. It would do Australia well to become acquainted with the mythical sea monster that will bring it's doom unless it can ramp up gold production by sending any potential hoodies down the mines. Although the hope is of course to lure him back to his watery prison in the Mediterranean and keep him fattened on gold, we must consider alternatives. An internet/Twitter based rumour that  Australia is where we moved the gold he was promised would be a good start.  

Threat 2: Infectious Ideas

European Revolutionary Ideas

In his New Year Message to the Nation, Dave the Lizard reminded us that this is the time of year when we catch nasty bugs and, rightly so, we should bolster our defences. Whilst some have speculated on the need to run when a bird sneezes, especially with the imminent collapse of a health service that has never saved a single life in over sixty years (according to private sources wishing to invest), they would be wrong. Dave was warning us of old enemies.

A conspiracy was planned at the highest levels in Europe all to sacrifice the City to the Kraken and to save France. It will not work, but there is a long way to go and lives will be lost. Since new year, the Frenchies, emboldened by their natural Gallic arrogance have made direct threats against the City us. My sources have revealed that the Ancient Capital* has gone beyond the planning stages in preparation of the Kraken's arrival however, the threat to our freedom lies not from the Kraken, the previous red government, hoodies or even Old Age Terrorists despite the threat they carry. I believe this Twitter Statement shows why Tory backbenchers are right as to the source of blame for everything, including the current European Ice Age spread across our nations bows:

“The open exchange of information can have a positive global impact … almost every country in the world agrees that freedom of expression is a human right. Many countries also agree that freedom of expression carries with it responsibilities and has limits...As we continue to grow internationally, we will enter countries that have different ideas about the contours of freedom of expression. Some differ so much from our ideas that we will not be able to exist there. Others are similar but, for historical or cultural reasons, restrict certain types of content, such as France or Germany, which ban pro-Nazi content.

So we can see that France and Germany are responsible for internet censorship - just what else are they capable of? However, rather taking on these two forces, we must divide and conquer. Instead of fighting Germany, it would be nice to have them on our side and once we mention Alsace-Lorraine Reichsterritorium von Elsass-Lothringen they'll be on board. Which would leave the French isolated and our Islanders have greater history with the French, most of it of the unfriendly rivalry kind - despite how much our rulers have incestuously snuggled up together through the ages. 

The Ancient Cities of Lebensraum 

Why I revealed War with France is inevitable
They continue to insult us

So serious is this le Kraken threat in 2012, that the government are putting troops on our streets. Although some have argued this is to do with safety at the Olympics, this is ludicrous. It might help the chaos and confusion of the 'siege city' underground (which has always been a bloody nightmare) but it does nothing for those upstream. They are not happy about the Kraken nor the potential effusions in mouth of the river, they are also not happy about the welcoming party being placed in the City and not the ramparts:

Warships?
Surface-to-air missiles?
An army of 42,000?
Wellington only needed 68,000 at Waterloo

This liberal attitude is complacent. Unless the Tithe payments are kept up by the countries of the Med then we are under serious threat in spring 2012. That is why all eyes are on Spain and Greece again. If they can grasp the Tithe from the clutches of the monetary reaper system the Kraken may be lured back to the Med. This will allow the Bastard Isles long enough to recover some of the gold lost due to the fecklessness of the Cyclops.

Conquest

These Bastard Isles are highly susceptible to the Kraken's rages, but our climate has offered some protection us for millennia as has our gold.  Now we no longer have the gold to sate his needs, we have no choice but to defend our Island whatever the cost may be and attack is the best defence if the last 70 years of diplomatic relations have proved anything. My own proposition, unpalatable for many but necessary, to fight the great economic terror is to burn old people. According to sources this is a way of managing their decline. However, I see the benefits of invading France;

• It offers 675,000 square miles of land, nearly three times bigger than our Bastard Isles. We know we are overcrowded and they have a surplus of space which they have refused to share with us. We can always send any hardcore Frenchies to Quebec if they refuse to assimilate their language. 
• Thresholds must be set to restock the gold. France has gold.
• Vast regions currently used for vineyards can instead be turned into breweries making proper English Ales instead of that poncey crap.
• Day trips to France no longer mean communicating with rude locals who take offence when you do not speak their mangled language.
•  We'd be doing America a belated flavour favour.
• We can stop the immigration problem by policing at source. 
• We will stop petulant taunting and ingratitude, such as this;

However instead of supporting this move, pensioners have threatened to freeze en mass, in defiance of rising fuel costs. This protest by the elderly is an affront to mankind and the modern gods we hold dear. There is no choice to encourage nature to take them out of the equation this winter. Then maybe they will start doing what we tell them.

Like invading France, there are massive economic benefits in removing an entire echelon of society that threatens the way of life for the holders of stocks - not guillotines - and those who want to hoard not share. Whilst this may seem extreme to some, it will hardly come as a surprise to avid readers of this blog, I have after all been advocating something like this for quite some time. I therefore propose a third wave to achieve the next level of guided consciousness and solve the problem of old people in preparation of the attack on France. Behold:

* It does exist but no one want's to speak about it.

** I am not sure how Old Father Thames or indeed Mama Thames will take this threat to their authoritah by the Kraken who is King of the Waters but rarely ventures inland.

*** a bit like the British economy and our Olympic prospects, although this figure could be vastly understated.