America Mobilises Crack Squid as Kraken Invades Japan

Enter the Kraken

(Reuters) - Japan and the United States will hold a biennial joint military exercise in Japan in November in a move likely to further anger China* amid heightened tensions between the two Asian giants over disputed(**) islets in the East China Sea.

About 37,400 military personnel from Japan will join some 10,000 U.S. troops in the November 5-16 drill, an official at Japan's Self-Defence Forces said.

This is the official 'cover story' and therefore contains only vague elements of truth such as using the English alphabet. Before you dive behind the sofa fearing this is one of the opening acts of World War IV no war is planned despite the fervent cries for blood by the Asian Tigers(i)

I am not the bloody messiah

I found this disgrace on wickedpedea

From the balcony of a West London embassy the dissident's mother cried out "He's not the messiah, he's just a very naughty boy." I know this as I have seen the video

That the people were duly distracted was highlighted by communist rat George  Galloway of the pro rape Respect party

#FutureHistory: Reclaim Friday13th

“Man, once surrendering his reason, has no remaining guard against absurdities the most monstrous, and like a ship without rudder, is the sport of every wind. With such persons, gullibility, which they call faith, takes the helm from the hand of reason and the mind becomes a wreck.” –Thomas Jefferson, letter to James Smith, 1822

I propose to offer old people as a sacrifice to appease the volcano gods

At this time of the waning, let us hope that the light stays with us in the darkness. Let us 

#VolcanoPorn Spurting

Krakatau a sign of blocked spurtage
The Kraken is vital to the rhythms of the Great Earth Mother.
and spurting.

Traditional beliefs about volcanoes

Many ancient accounts ascribe volcanic eruptions to supernatural causes, such as the [hard] actions of gods or demigods. To the ancient Greeks, volcanoes' capricious power could only be explained as acts of the gods, while 16th/17th-century German astronomer Johannes Kepler believed they were ducts for the Earth's tears.

#VolcanoPorn - Dirty Italian Lady Disgorges

To all invading storms; and Aetna's throat With roar of frightful ruin thunders nigh. Now to the realm of light it lifts a cloud Of pitch-black, whirling smoke, and fiery dust, Shooting out globes of flame, with monster tongues That lick the stars; now huge crags of itself, Out of the bowels of the mountain torn, Its maw disgorges, while the molten rock Rolls screaming skyward; from the nether deep The fathomless abyss makes ebb and flow.

Hot Lady bubbles over

#VolcanoPorn - The Rise of Atlantis

Naked Together - Adonis and Aphrodite

On 24th January a mass ejection from a coronal hole pressed into the earth

The next day, 26th January, more tubes rhythmically responded after watching the writhing forms on show

Nothing to See Hierro: The Volcano Porn of Middle Earth

Starring the Kraken in...

Club Med Escape to Victory

Episode 1

The Kraken, using the natural rhythms of the Sun[god], is trying to excite the Earth Mother into one great heaving Organasm to ease his passage. I can't believe I didn't see it coming, but I have been playing the sections back, frame by frame to make sure my conclusions were strong. This is part of the problem of being addicted to volcano porn.

Disclaimer: Distant Cousins? 
Feb 18th: Officer Barbrady's Birthday and Mount Fuji rumbles

Meanwhile on the far south western reaches officials have been rumoured to be chanting a dark, secretive mantra

'se mueven a lo largo de la gente, nada que ver aquí' 

whenever they are asked about the motion of fluids. Now records have emerged from the depths of the Mediterranean Middle Earth featuring hardcore Greek, Italian and Spanish. webcam action...

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VolcanoPorn #2 Dragon Enters Fujisan

On the day after the eighth Double Monday of the Mighty 12,
the fightback against the forces of the Death Star commenced. 

Meanwhile back in 1897, A painted 'dragon [rose] out of smoke near Mt. Fuji, ascending towards the sky' evoking ancestral memories of those who had ploughed beneath her.

City Under Siege: Cameron Calls for Mass Sacrifice

Is Profit George pinching our faces?
A spokesperson said Profit George is pinching himself,
demonstrating he shares our pain.
Some sources have claimed he was crushing our heads.

Magic #3: Flatulent Earth Theory

He may be old but his understanding of theory is impeccable. 

I cannot discount his words just because of this or that he has a beard.

In the Innu mythology of Canada, Matshishkapeu (literally the "Fart Man") is the most powerful spirit, a legendary shaman capable of inflicting gastrointestinal pain or relief. [Wikipedia]

Sunday Exclusive: French Stick in Britannia

The French trying it on with our Fat Slags

My highly trained but spiritually unmotivated monkeys have found this shocking story which is completely true, however I have redacted names to protect the fallen. However some of it remains graphic in nature and tissues should be kept handy for readers of a Daily Mail persuasion:

Shocking GONADS Discovery

Today I can reveal that the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Understanding in Science (GONADS) have made an important discovery that may change the face of the planet as we know it.

Winters Icy Drunken Claw - A Very Northern Threat

The nights are drawing down and winter's icy claw slowly stretches over the northern hemisphere. You can tell winter is coming from Scandinavia because animal binge drinking is on the increase as the Swann and the BBC report.

Tweet by Graham Swann Thursday, 8th September 2011

Blue Sky Thinking or Praying to the Volcano Gods

The Airlines are moaning yet again crying into their meagre soup, telling us that when it comes to Icelandic volcanoes called Eyjafjallajokull and safety in the skies:

“airlines are best placed to take the final decisions on whether or not it is safe to fly”

Yes, the people who run corporations (such as airlines) and have a legal duty to their shareholders to make money are of course the best placed to make this decision. And of course, “European governments [should] bail out the airlines with what ultimately is taxpayers' money” for not allowing them to fly last time around.