Thursday, 24 November 2011

Modern Warfare 3 Now It's Political

Would the Honourable Member like the Tea Bag in or out?
Dedicated to those in the Battlefield of Modern Warfare
and Freedom loving Monkey's Everywhere
I have made a hypothetical reconstruction (see above) of what Tom Watson may or may not have wanted to do with his honourable member after Keith Vaz. Vaz is the High Priest of the Forces of Censorship and made an open Declaration of War when he tabled a motion in protest against Modern Warfare. This immediately offended the wealth and fanatical dedication of a small country. The People of #MW3 number in their millions and are growing (and learning) fast. According to the latest sources they have a fanatical hardcore of 3 million, General Watson knew how many stood behind him, so he picked up the motion and fashioned his response before hurling it back:
Keith, for many year, has been very critical of adult content in video games and he's homed in particularly on the Call Of Duty franchise...He's tabled a motion...condemning the game. I just amended it to make the point that the game has an 18 classification and that the [British Board of Film Classification] said in a statement that it bore no resemblance to the July 7 bombings in London – which is what he refers to...There may be disturbing or unsettling content in that game, but adults should have the choice as to whether they want to play.
I agree with Watson but feel this should be taken one stage further. Expenses magician Vaz, must be muffled. He has marched to have the Satanic Verses banned, made false allegations and 'committ[ed] serious breaches of the [Parliamentary] Code of Conduct and showed contempt for the House [of Parliament].' A very dubious theory considered by some, is that the minister hugger is a fame hungry succubus and has no soul. This is worthy of mention as the story has been changed to protect the guilty. It's what journalists do to scrape a living these days. We can all just shake hands and pretend we're sorry for what we've said. All that matters is that we say sorry, even if it is in a tiny pathetic voice after you screamed your head off. It's left to the People to tell their own truth and have their own voices heard.

I have a bit of a headache from the mental strain of the burden I bear, so there' no never a need to shout. To win any war we must have strategic targets and although we must fight for our entertainment, we do it in love and laughter not greed and hate. Our fargan rights are being violated.
I will gladly put videos and images of Vaz getting Tea Bagged or Muffled. Add a link in the comments or tweet me. Let the gaming world help Vaz understand the "dexterity as well as collaborative skills" of the highly organised forces he stands against. 
  • Tech Radar: Tom Watson smacks down MP's Modern Warfare 3 criticism 
I will announce the critical date in time as I cannot reveal too much. I need my Generals to come forward. If the Sungod sends me confirmation in the heavens then I will once again show my power of prediction on the momentous day of #OccupyFriday. The weekend comes - it is time for the earth to party and reclaim what is rightfully ours. At least until Sunday morning, because it has been blessed by Panda+Love. It is a day of needed rest and reflection, even if you only intend on lurking. It is often when profits prophets are born that have come to save the world from the desperate evil of Double Monday. That will always be our ultimate goal. We Salute You. 
UPDATE: 4th Double Monday of the Mighty 12
I originally planned World TeaBag Day for 2011 but I couldn't be arsed and besides the timing being wrong my legion of monkeys weren't listening. But as I always say there is still time. On Christmas day this year those who play Battlefield and Modern Warfare must TeaBag en mass as a protest against censorship and because it's funny. Whilst some may complain that children's games are being ruined on this sacred day, it's a fucking 18 game and any child playing this game deserves a ball bag or pair of beef curtains in their face. The world of MW and BF will thank me as these little fucking cretins ruin it for everyone else, just like they do on Twitter.

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