Resident Evil: the Kraken Redux

Some sources say computer games and television help us normalise the unthinkable by dehumanising and desensitising us to graphic levels of visual and sensory pornography. Mills and Boon books probably do the same thing to old ladies.* Milk Snatcher Maggie Thatcher showed that old ladies cannot be trusted. If Mills and Boon ever come to PlayStation3 then you know they have taken over. But that concern is for another day. There is a new threat on my horizon and I am scared:

Not even Twitter is safe from this threat

I really had hoped for a bloodless revolution - at heart I am a 'God Damn Hippy' - but  I would be foolish  to believe that now. The time for appeasement has passed. Whilst that pacifist moron Cosmetic Brain Surgery is still cheering on the hippies, the rest - the 98% not in banking or protesting - should have joined in  instead of letting the police do all the kicking. I have been practising for hours, readying myself for the end times which are coming. It's all for one and one for all and all for me. Remembrance day was all about the 1 too. I know this because something momentous happened on 21st October 2011 which could well have been when a rapture was seen on the sun. Shortly after the Loch Ness Monster appeared. Behold: 

I watch the news and I read between the lines. I have seen enough Hollywood movies in my life and read enough Dan Brown novels to know many things. Which is why I always watch for Zombies in the news....

Bob's Comments are Censored at this time. Agent Arsenal Bob's Note now declassified.

It is no coincidence that the stories highlighted by Agent Arsenal Bob appeared on the same day and on the same page. If you can be bothered to dig, as I do, nearly all the top stories reveal the truth in the world. The cuts are probable cause for the internal leak of this information. There is someone there on the inside, subverting and revealing the truth. Now is the time to prepare the many strands planted through mankind are coming together again.

No one else seemed concerned, something they will live to regret.

Looks nothing like the film
Anti-Dog propaganda - no Zombie Cats
Female lead role played by Porn Actress***

I can't believe the Government are so short sighted - in this matter at least. My sources, the BBC no less, have clearly said the government [they weren't specific which one the blue with tiny blemish of yellow or the blue with the hint of red] are involved in the 'brain drain'. I'm not going on about the sideshow of European fiscal voodoo/pass the debt parcel or even Cameron and Sarkozy's lunatic attack on the Sun. Brain draining is a known cause of Zombies. It is something that threatens our civilisation far more than any continental forces. If the politicians stopped worrying about hoodies and veils and took a closer look at what scientists are splicing and cooking in their laboratories they would know the true meaning of horror unleashed on the streets - which isn't a few unwashed hippies protesting.

However, the government are innocent, mostly I think. There is a genetic component as they don't realise that their back stabbing money grabbing ways, a skill or weakness depending on your employer, has been honed throughout millennia. Their olfactory abilities have adapted so that, unlike the rest of the population, they are not immediately sicked by the smell of faeces, a useful skill when most of your life is spent brown nosing. Insanity and criminality are also known side effects of inbreeding. It's a DNA thing. I know about these things. It is because of their brown nosing - and seeing shit everywhere - that they have been unable to see the Zombie threat rising.

I have access to one of the few remaining secret armies, run by monkeys, in the world and regularly tap into this new consciousness. I've faced Resident Evil in total darkness dammit and made my underwear very, very brown. I know the hardships and sheer carnage the Zombie defence forces have been through. But I have also laughed with them, especially when an undead's head is shorn off. In my youth I fought alongside them putting my body on the line but always failing. They stood up for me then and now I will lead them. They are my People. I understand them. Only I can lead them to fight in the Darkness.

Resident Evil Coming to the Streets Near You Soon

Image from Zombie Wikia

My sources have told me that enslaved scientists are conducting genetic experiments splicing samples of the Kraken's DNA and mixing it with the virginal mind blood of beliebers. The beliebers are summoned by an insect frequency which makes them crave our brains for they have none. This BigMac BrainCrack can only send beliebers in one direction, evolutionary speaking, which is down, down deeper and down. Already I have seen proof on Twitter of their mindlessness. They have already lost their souls and are defended by succubus's who hate our freedoms.

George - Kill him if you can

So whilst I can understand the government pulling the plug in their ignorance, they should do this with old sick people and not those who mqay be our only hope. The people who create these games are the elite of nerds. We need them if we are to fight off the Zombie hoards when specimens from umbrella corporation, which I believe is a subsidiarity of Monsanto**, collides in a stem cell laboratory and mutates into the T-Virus. This is what they are planning to release against the #occupy movement. These guys and girls that have sacrificed and conscript online may have never held a real weapon or even had a job in their lives but they have practised hard. Oh yes.

Through the power of the Kraken, they have taken down Rome. They have taken the Greeks. Our Ancient ties are being bound to us again as Rome tries to rise once more. Rome must be crushed under our foot. Personally, I blame Monty Python for my burning hatred of Rome but also because I am a Barbarian. As a Great Mongolian Warrior once said to a shadow 'Join Me. Or Die.'

The latest Resident Evil game due for release in 2012. Coincidence?

This video will help us prepare us for what is to come in the days ahead.

Many will brave the streets at Midnight to receive their mission

* I may have to ban these vile pamphlets of profligacy due to their known association with old ladies and the few curious sexually-frustrated old men who hoped for pictures. 
**WTF. How does the spell check manage to recognise this bloody company when 98% of the people on this Island would  tell you they haven't seen the advert yet. 'Is it a new chocolate bar? Can I have a free sample?' Yet it cannot pick up Sceptred. This is language oppression! 
*** According to some sources at least.