#SpacePorn Lunar Strokes

Result!
A Full Moon can give Men Heart attacks!*

Abstract

OBJECTIVE:

Lunar effects on human behaviour and health have been postulated for centuries; associations between phase of the moon and both vascular and psychiatric disease have been reported. We hypothesised that admission with medically unexplained stroke symptoms would be influenced by lunar cycle... 

RESULTS:

There were 7219 admissions during the study period, comprising 167 complete lunar cycles. Stroke admissions were evenly spread throughout lunar phases (P=.72). Admission with medically unexplained stroke symptoms was significantly increased during full moon phases (P=.023). There was no variation in admission rates during other significant dates. 

CONCLUSION:

There was a statistically significant association between admission to the acute stroke unit with a diagnosis of medically unexplained stroke symptoms and lunar phase. The reasons for this observed variation remain elusive; our data do not support a convincing biological or psychosocial aetiology. Link (**)

* and stupid women if we are to be inclusive.

(**) may require your sort code and bank account details which will be passed on to a third party Ugandan wanted for questioning by Detective Horace Von Khute.

#SpacePorn Solar Dogging

Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. The other planets are having a mutual wank as they look on waiting to get in position themselves. It is quite possible the Earth Mother may flick a few pyroclastic beans in front of a web cam (or two).

New Cuban Missile Crisis: Meteorite American Haarp* Weapon

Russian Bob reports:

the America Imperialist Pig is planning to capture an asteroid and hold small brown countries to ransom if they don't hand over the black gold. 

He also reports NADA may have been behind the meteorite that squeezed into Russian airspace using Haarp* to lull it down from the heavens. This may explain why first hand reports in the Urinals of Russia reported that

#SpacePorn : Solar Fart makes Lady Puke!

On the day after the forty-seventh double monday of the mighty 12...the mighty Sun[god] let a few slip. This made Lady Tongariro puke. Behold;

#SpacePorn : March of the Solar Pricks

Pure Solar Filth

Space Porn #2 Pubic Lice from Thatcher Make Soundwave Splash

Two spins before the 17th Double Monday of the Mighty 12

A Mighty boom was heard across the land, as the stars fell from the sky. This has been linked to a mythical Golden Country** which exists on an old pirates map which is secreted up Squidface's arse. It has been speculated by sources reporting to NASA that the sonic boom could have been an intergalactic '[white] van' hurtled towards Mother Earth from the far reaches of space. It would be reasonable to assume this is from the Ferengi . So imagine my surprise when I discovered it was part of Thatcher's yearly attack on Earth!
Whilst most people believe Thatcher's evil attack began in the late seventies, it has been going on for millennia - which makes her more evil than I could have possibly imagined.

This could explain why this benefit thief is not being prosecuted for crimes against humanity and is instead receives an enormous 'pension' when she is too old and delinquent to appreciate it.

To Lizards, Thatcher is a hero who heralds the destruction of our civilisation. These NASA linked sources have pointed out she is a great 'ghost' of cold rock spinning through space, whilst others that she is space whore * that lay waste to our economic system by occasionally shaking off Pubic Space Lice to continue her contamination. I have to say, even by my standards, that is bloody ridiculous, yet it is no wholly without merit. When we consider that the 'booms' we are all hearing could be the amplified shrill cries of her minions as they are burnt alive in our atmosphere. The mission of these pubic lice (space division), should they survive our atmosphere is to destroy communist rats and that can only be a good thing as like Smiffy I fucking hate rats. And wasps and chelsea. And lots of things if I'm honest.

* non gender specific usage; I am simply using metaphor to portray conservatives in their true light, although if I'm honest I'll take any opportunity to throw in a few knob gags.
**found by sailing through the fabled Golden Gate, defended by Global Warning Sharks.

SpacePorn #1 Hot Spurting Action

Mother Earth is glad she did not get this in the face.

#VolcanoPorn Spurting

Krakatau a sign of blocked spurtage
The Kraken is vital to the rhythms of the Great Earth Mother.
and spurting.

Traditional beliefs about volcanoes

Many ancient accounts ascribe volcanic eruptions to supernatural causes, such as the [hard] actions of gods or demigods. To the ancient Greeks, volcanoes' capricious power could only be explained as acts of the gods, while 16th/17th-century German astronomer Johannes Kepler believed they were ducts for the Earth's tears.