#SpacePorn Solar Dogging

Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars. The other planets are having a mutual wank as they look on waiting to get in position themselves. It is quite possible the Earth Mother may flick a few pyroclastic beans in front of a web cam (or two).

Profit George in Tax Dodge Shocker

Is Profit George seriously suggesting immoral financial conjuring tricks - which puts him in the shady league with starbucks? This is not bad, it is bowel churning evil-bad. In light of the distinct media silence on this subject I can only conclude there is clearly nothing to see El Hierro. However I feel obliged to put a case forward for the defence.

Old Age Terrorists #33 Sirens Wailing

My internal alarm bells are ringing. 

there is nothing special or innately superior about western people. They are not the master race. They are simply geographically privileged.

This geographical advantage leads to a genetic advantage as our children grow tall and strong whilst the poor are being fattened for the slaughter. There is another way;

Prophet George*

* although to some he will forever be known as Rufus. Which as many West Londoners will know is a dogs name.

#ReclaimTuesday - The Camera Always Lies

'The names have been changed to protect the guilty'

Economically speaking we find ourselves being hurtled down the rapids without a paddle on a river of shit. Politically our leaders have their arses pointing in the raft adding to the shit splashing on the people paddling. When you are surrounded by shit then you either have your head up your arse or you're surrounded by arseholes. But sometimes something beautiful can grow from shit;

“Readers have asked us why this was such a big deal. What’s wrong with changing the content of a photograph that is published in a newspaper? The answer is simple: It is dishonest,” Royhab wrote. “Journalism, whether by using words or pictures, must be an accurate representation of the truth.” Photo Tampering History

Why I Hate Pussy – A Conversation with a Hairy Dog

In the interests of open debate,  it is only fair to ask a dog for his opinion* 

ADVERT BREAKAGE

Three high solstice ago: "the web and tabloid worlds were outraged that someone had the courage to stand up and finally put a cat, that if we are being honest, was asking for it, in a bin"

This view is not the most popular despite fanatical levels of persecution, prosecution and party political prostitution in the viral and real worlds. Despite the offensiveness of the language these hardcore views are shared by millions of vicious and very vocal followers. The following interview was made possible through a Vulcan Mind Meld, Bovril and a chunky calculator. A thoroughbred Mongrel, represents a group who have been accused by some, mostly cats, of being extreme lobbyists. They prefer to describe themselves as a ‘non-profit organisation' with the explicit aim of more 'dog oriented' understanding and research in science. The call for the elimination of cats in their manifesto is they claim, 'based purely upon the science'. Let's face it a Dog won Britain's Got Talent - a cat stand's no chance of becoming best of British no matter how many cute propaganda videos YouTube can spew up from it's vaults

Thou Shalt Not Be a GAY Penguin

Is it homophobic to split up gay penguins*?

Guest Sermon by Cosmetic Brain Surgery

If you look through the ten commandments, the core of faith for much of the planet, then as far as I can tell, at no point does it say 'Thou Shalt Not Be Gay.'

Scotland to be Privatised*

Wanted for Crimes Against the Union
Links with far right?

"Alas, I have often said to myself what are the boasted advantages which my country reaps from a certain Union that counterbalance the annihilation of her Independence, and even her name !" 

Scotland, a place where there are twice as many Panda's as there are Conservative Members of Parliament, may be punished for the indiscretion of A Salmon as dark forces threaten to tear the union apart. Rumours have circulated about affairs and rumours persist that our former friends in the North are conspiring with those even further North. Even if these rumours are found to be just that - rumours - sources have said they may just privatise Scotland to bind them to the Union as it would offend God to break the union, and  let's face it, it's only fair that someone makes a profit. As it is, one set of two-timing bastards have accused the other half** of vile things and expect them to lie down and take the abuse. However asking any Scot to lie down and think of England is hardly going to get them in the mood for getting into bed, especially, as history tells us, when there's no gold involved.

Peanuts** or One Small* Problem with Dave's Big Society

Lorraine Kelly's Growler receives an award 

Old Age Terrorists #8 Up Yours ******

I haven't mentioned old people lately as I have been focused on the threat from the Kraken, however I have not forgotten the threat from elderly yobs. It is after all the time of year when propaganda is at it's height and we are subjected to the pure mind melting onslaught of asking for alms for grumpy, old undeserving bastards. 

Seriously you would be better off giving your money straight to a hoodie so they can score some Haribo. At least with the young there is time for them to change their ways. Unlike this vile fingered 89 year old yob who 'meant' this foul gesture:

Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson is Innocent* +Updates

Jeremy Clarkson commented on the supporters of General Strike and said:

"I would have them all shot...I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families. I mean how dare they go on strike when they have these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed, while the rest of us have to work for a living."

ADVERT BREAK: Makes You Stupid and Horny

Brought to you by The Northern Threat
in association with Binge Drinking
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Tea Parties Cause Mental Retardation?

Illustration by Victor Juhasz, Copyright Rolling Stone Magazine

When even Rush Limbaugh says that you may have 'blown it' with the latest effluent coming out of your mouth - you are in a mentally retarded class of your own. 

Well what else am I expected to think after this from Tea Party fundamentalist and candidate for the Republican Party Presidential nomination, Michele Bachman: 

I had a mother last night come up to me here in Tampa after the debate. She told me that her little daughter took that vaccine, that injection, and she suffered from mental retardation thereafter. It can have very dangerous side effects. [Richard Adams, Guardian, Michele Bachmann, the HPV vaccine and the Republican landscape]

Knock Down Ginger

     

I should have a sense of fellowship for my Ginger brethren - I am after all a vociferous exponent/activist for Ginger Rights and with good reason.