Thursday, 1 December 2011

Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson is Innocent* +Updates


Jeremy Clarkson commented on the supporters of General Strike and said:
"I would have them all shot...I would take them outside and execute them in front of their families. I mean how dare they go on strike when they have these gilt-edged pensions that are going to be guaranteed, while the rest of us have to work for a living."
Clarkson also stuck up for train commuters everywhere when he also said: 
'I do sometimes use the train to come to London but it always stops in Reading. It's always because somebody has jumped in front of it and somebody has burst. You just think, why have we stopped because we've hit somebody? What's the point of stopping? It won't make them better. 
Clarkson pulled one of the locals
Was this the cow he was alleged to have an affair with?
And how long has he been into S+M/Gagging?
To maintain the BBC's fa├žade of balance he had first thanked the strikers for making his commute to work that bit easier. Despite this, Twitter had a humour bypass and demanded he was sacked for making a joke, rather than being an obnoxious twat. Even John 'Two Jabs' Prescott, stuck up for him:
Clarkson says these things to be outrageous and obviously doesn't mean it.
However it is worth remembering that Clarkson and his cohorts fired the first shots in the propaganda that led to the War against Mexico - even if they may have done so unwittingly. You also have to factor in left-wing bias at the BBC which I exclusively revealed, leaving millions of Daily Mail readers with a shortage of tissues. It may also explain why the BBC apologised afterwards yet have still to apologise for the rest of their programming, especially their 'news' programmes. 


Instead of shock and outrage at that people wasted a moment of their life complaining to the BBC. It's not like Clarkson pepper sprayed anyone and shocked the guy who invented it. Instead he showed himself to be a Master Jedi of offence, threw some seeds and watched them grow, laughing all the while and bathing in the afterglow. Some sources have reported to me that he had wet his pants backstage, although I am not sure if this was through laughter or he discovered the truth I revealed about the strikes and that it was in fact a mass protest against Zombies who now number 15 million. Comedy is wasted on Zombies:
There are too many fucking Zombies. I have seen Shaun of the Dead. They need their heads shooting off even if it is in front of their families. If Simon Pegg could kill his own mother for being a Zombie then maybe there was a bigger picture Clarkson was trying to tell us about? I mean he hasn't exactly denied it.

UPDATE:
The BBC Axis of Evil
Image: Phil Guest
This is a true Zombie story as it refuses to die only in the hope that people get distracted from the truth I have been revealing about Santa and the Kraken. 

A trace of a smile detected during speech?
Read the truth about
Book Burner George's Secret Fantasy
only on GingerZilla
Following in the footsteps of the Daily Mail, Unison who had a humour bypass showing why unions are not universally loved, has decided to waste money and time getting legal advice when General Strikes tactics had brought the government round the table. Now instead of talking about the way to feed the economy and more importantly how to keep up our tithe payments, we are now talking about Jeremy Clarkson's favourite subject - himself. I can only assume that the Clarkson one is a Master Jedi and some idiots fell for his mind tricks. Douchebags! I can exclusively reveal he is a lizard caused by his association with David Cameron and the constant exposure to the Kraken. This association with Old People and their evil terrorist leader Yoda does concern me and I am worried that Dave has let such a person into his inner circle. It shows a shocking lack of judgement on his part. According to sources, Clarkson may well be banished to the fringes but he will be rewarded well for delivering the government punchline. 

The government are keen to get in on the comedy themselves: 
By the afternoon, as the number of complaints mounted [5,000], [David Cameron's] official spokesman tried a joke of his own: "Execution isn't government policy and we have no plans to make it government policy."
I have my doubts about this statement because it did not say it isn't official government policy. I cannot take them seriously unless they confirm this. Nothing is worth listening to unless it's from official sources. Like the economic news delivered by the book burning Profit George. The 'money lenders' were very relieved as well at being told to hoard their reserves as they make one giant push to bring forth the golden shower on the economy. Even they can't believed he managed to get through that speech with a straight face. 

 *of this at least. He is guilty of counting David Cameron and Rebecca Brooks (excommunicated ginger) as friends and neighbours. He is guilty of many things but as far as I know he hasn't murdered anyone or ordered an invasion. However as the Top Gear lot are always making things and blowing things up I am sure they could be tried as terrorists if Unison get their way.

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