Dave's Dinner Shocker - Is No. 10 a Brothel?

Dave scrounging for some dinner.
Why we must allow Tory Party Escort Services  to continue their fundraising.

Prostitutes and politicians have a long history of accepting cash for access, so is it any wonder that one of the greatest old age terrorists of all time, Ronald Reagan said; 

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. 

Given that the cost of food has risen exponentially over the past few years, it is no wonder that when Dave decided to have a few of his wealthy friends over for dinner, he asked for cash up front before they got down to business. Britain is after all we are told, time and time again, broke and even our poor, despite the valiant efforts of this government, don't work for free. If Britain is to drag itself out of the mire then enterprise must not be stopped no matter the consequences or how seedy it may appear to those on the outside. It's only fair and if we don't bend over and take it, those holding the cash will take it elsewhere in a buyers market.

Whilst some have been quick to pour scorn on this government for the perception of corruption and their prostitution of values, we should be lauding government thrift to ensure that tax payers do not have to foot the bill for lavish dinners, or schools or the NHS - setting up direct debits to pay this money to private companies is another matter. Instead of pity this latest scandal has led to 'shock', presumably by gullible idiots whose mouths were flapping up and down when they read that

Peter Cruddas, the Conservative co-treasurer pimp, offered the reporters, who he thought were representatives of a Liechtenstein company backed by Middle Eastern money, the prospects of a private dinner with the Prime Minister and his wife in the No 10 flat, the chance to bend Cameron's ear on "practically any question you want", and the opportunity to have policy ideas fed through to the No 10 Policy Unit (a governmental, not a party body). He even suggested the party could find ways round the law forbidding donations from foreigners. All for "two hundred grand" Is 50p a year really too much to end this corruption?

Tory Party Hotline

It is testament to successive government ineptitude and the high rate of inflation that whereas a quarter of a million used to buy a peerage (Labour government prices), now two hundred grand buys only a cosy dinner date where Dave will seductively answer your questions. Included in the price is a stay at one of the Prime Minister's residences, saving the tax payer from funding extortionate brothel hotel charges for these secret liaisons, especially if drinks are involved. It has not been confirmed, but is understood to be part of the deal, that the prime minister will get into bed with prospective clients to seal the deal. Tory Partys Escort ServicesTM are not openly advertised in phone boxes or the classifieds but the recommendation of satisfied customers. No matter how unsavoury the appearance of impropriety is, such a view is naive lacking a basic understanding of how corruption prostitution politics works. The Lizard Dave alluded to this in his initial comments on his party's affairs

"What happened is completely unacceptable [he got caught]. This is not the way that we raise money in the Conservative Party* [we prefer to offer peerages and favourable policies for cash no questions asked - although we will happily ask questions in parliament if the price is right - we've got good form in this area]. It shouldn't have happened [getting caught]. It's quite right that Peter Cruddas has resigned [although I would have preferred if he could have clung on like a fatty turd as Andy Coulsin and Liam Fox did]. I will make sure there is a proper party inquiry to make sure this can't happen again [we like internal inquiries as they take the heat off, don't blame us and mean no matter what we will end up blameless as the press will have forgotten this in the melee for the next scandal - you don't think we learnt nothing from our relationship with Rupe do you? Besides we're not doing anything Labour didn't do so it must be their fault]" Labour demands to know who bought access to No 10

This has hit the party's standing hard

The cash-for-access scandal engulfing David Cameron has inflicted deep damage on the Conservative Party's standing, according to a ComRes survey for The Independent....The survey also found two out of three people regard the Tories as "the party of the rich" as a result of last week's Budget, which cut the 50p top rate of tax on incomes over £150,000 a year while imposing a "granny tax" on pensioners. Most voters see Tories as the party of the rich

Although to be fair, this government has never really cared what the public think anyway and are far more interested in making off with the public purse. This does question the sanity of any voters who believes that it's just the blues that are the party of the rich, when simple common sense would tell us the whole fucking system is geared for the rich

Between them, his guests had given or loaned the Conservative party more than £7m. It would not be an exaggeration to suggest that without their money he would not be in Downing Street himself....Now Mr Cameron faces awkward questions about the extent to which money can provide access to the Government and how much he is influenced by those who hold the purse strings of his party. Guess who came to dinner: bankers, traders and an oil baron

Six years ago ex-cabinet minister Clare Short, who was part of the Labour government and must take the  blame for everything, was reported to have said

"What we're getting is a bubble of these clever people who've captured the state, don't need a party, don't need any members, don't have turbulent people having opinions, who then get money from rich people and run our state without consulting anyone else," How bad is loans row for Blair?**

Even back then Lizard Dave was seeking to distance himself from the whole situation, but refused to tell lies

"We've got to stop this perception that parties can somehow be bought by big donations either from very rich people, or trade unions, or businesses." Tories demand ban on party loans

Thanks to the cracking efforts of his party and indeed the sterling work of the previous government, it can now safely be said that only the truly deluded would deny the current state of affairs is just a 'perception' of the parties being bought - it is a reality. But it is anything but shocking, especially to anyone with more than a passing acquaintance with #FutureHistory;

Sharing Values
Politicians and Prostitutes

The expression "cash for peerages" has a long history. Titles have constantly been granted to court favorites and allies. James I was more overt; he created the title of baronet and sold them for £1,500 each to raise money for his war in Ireland. In the 1920s David Lloyd George was involved in a barely concealed "cash for patronage" scandal managed by Maundy Gregory, which resulted in the 1925 Act which barred this (purchase of peerages had not previously been illegal), and in 1976 Harold Wilson's resignation honours list was similarly embroiled in what became known as the "Lavender List"...In the 1960s, Roy Thomson had some justifiable claim to a peerage as a Canadian and later British publisher. As even his company history observes, "Roy had noted that all proprietors of newspapers seemed to become members of the House of Lords. He had also noted this was emphatically ‘a good thing’" and he showed himself ready to do whatever was required to achieve this goal, believing at first that it could be a simple open purchase but moving on to explicit lobbying of prime ministers...Eventually, having bought The Scotsman,The Sunday Times and later The Times, he became sufficiently important to Harold Wilson that he was "raised to the peerage" as Baron Thomson of Fleet. As recently as 2004 the issue of large donations to a political party being linked to the award of a peerage arose when Paul Drayson donated £555,000 to the Labour Party. His company, Powderject (now part of Novartis), had also received a valuable government contract to make vaccines.[Wikipedia]

* The Conservatives would not confirm if you received a free Parker pen just for enquiring, but then again nobody but me is asking. 

** the answer, like with most instances of government corruption, is not very. Bliar is still free and is unrepentant about being a tax avoiding bastard just like the rest of the ruling classes.