Blair on his Knees for Murdoch

An artists portrait of Rupert Murdoch

Many people have either lost interest or have no idea what the Leveson Inquiry is.  The only thing that is certain is that it has something to do with the evil miasma from the lizard turd that the Antipodean Beast Rupert Murdoch has covered the UK press in, which has included lots of hacking (I believe this may be from the smell). Like most flies wallowing in shit, some Conservatives are are trying to flee as the spotlight shines on them, other unmenschionables are crying 'foul' and saying the whole process is partisan whilst trying to blame the old labour government who are entirely to blame for the global recession, the extinction of the dinosaurs and killing Jesus*.

Meanwhile Labour are counting the thank you gift of gold for spending so long covered in shit, or being in government as it is also known. With such divergent opinion confusing the public, I thought I would create a helpful summary;

F1 Torture* Set to Run

An artists impression of the safe streets of Bahrain. 

Meet John. He used to work for the police, now he's a now fully paid up member and guest of a 'murderous regime'  who have really made him feel at home

"Along with my family, I feel completely safe [in Bahrain]. Indeed, safer than I have often felt in London."

of course feeling safe is important, but it's just who feels safe that's important. I can sympathise with this view as I don't feel safe either - being plagued by paranoia brought on by extreme bouts of megalomania. I am perpetually filled with fear from watching the news channels, but more importantly I know the threat the Kraken poses to our way of life and I'm not being paid for my opinion. 

Carlos Latuff: the killing of Ali Yousif al-Badah by police vehicles

Trevor 'Ming the Merciless' Kavanagh Fucks Students Scandal

From my unpublished archive files

Poor students in search of coke
Just like rich students in fact

7th May 2010

On the morning after the election it became clear Iron Man Cam was floundering in his bid for domination and would need help from Dem Libs, transforming himself into Calmon (a kind of fish). The population have decided that they don’t have a clue. We don’t really like or trust anyone or anything.

#FutureHistory: Media Vampires

An Artists Impression.
I like to think it's a premonition foretelling Dave riding a dead horse.
It is no coincidence. Statistically nothing ever is.

New allegations have emerged of the existence of secret internal emails(**) that show Rupert 'the Antipodean Beast' Murdoch believes Trevor Kavanagh from the sun[red rag] is a vampire. Kav cannot be put down by conventional methods as supernatural blood flows through the pages he weaves, or it could just be that there is such an overwhelming miasma spewing from the pages that it's impossible to tell who's guilty and who just happens to work in admin because everyone is covered in shit. I find this far more palatable than a bizarre love triangle involving ex-soviet states, witch hunts and terrorists.

Speaking of love triangles, ex communicated ginger, Rebekah Brooks has remained silent on alleged sexual relations with horses, but then again no one has asked her. This did not stop former Times editor Andrew Neil saying that Dave 'did not have sexual relations with that horse'. Others have seen this possible connection and the media are always the ones to tell us, by a nudge a wink and a inference here or there, there is no smoke without fire - unless of course you are gassing old people. In such circumstances, where rogues are popping out of the woodwork it is no wonder that they are liable to be

"arrested on suspicion of intimidation of a witness (contrary to Section 51 of the Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1994) and encouraging or assisting an offence (contrary to Section 46 of the Serious Crime Act 2007)."

Now if I was to follow tablord* logic I would defile any presumption of innocence and quote unnamed colleagues sources I just made up saying he intimidated them with his penis. Intimidating witnesses is of course a Mafia tactic, as is paying off the police. However, as Kav is not from the pauper class he must be handled delicately and mercifully by his former masters in the TabLords who defer to their 'worthy' - and therefore far more depraved - elder brothers and sisters to perform this ritual 'banishment' from the family business at least until they can sneak them in the backdoor. These more eloquent gobshites on the Broad Shites* take a few thousand words to achieve a slightly more cerebral illusion of fear and malice towards their fellow man that the red head younger siblings manage in a single headline. This fear spreads. The only way to defeat fear is to see the world through the eyes of love and laughter, not omerta

*TabLord [tablets of the Lords], Broad Shites [Broadsheets], the Medium of Imagination [Psychic Television Channels]

(**) My sources, which I obviously cannot disclose, claim to have seen these emails and stored a copy on a hard drive that then suffered from the dreaded click of doom (COD) after an invigorating interaction with the Matrix and the floor.

IMAGE DISCLAIMER: I am indebted to the work of those throughout FutureHistory who produce the images I highlight. Everything that we are, we owe to someone else who did the donkey work for us. This is in contrast to the current thesis that everything is new, amazing and better than before and that our ancestors were a bunch of donkey fucking inbreds.

Smut on Sun[day]: Privatise the Fanny

To be against porn, is to be against the natural order. To believe that the earth or anything upon this earth would offend creation is to question creation itself. Blue is part of this natural order and yet it has been adopted at the very highest levels ensuring it's curse. We, @GingerZilla demand that is #reclaimed for the sake of mankind

Swedish Source: Peter Rosén
29th Feb 2012 via @SpaceWeather

The Smut on Sun[day]

The Sun[newspaper] has decided to desecrate* the holy day of Sun[day] shopping by covering it in shit. The Sun[god] was very unhappy with this and made it's displeasure known at the sacrilege;

A magnetic filament snaking over the sun's northeastern limb rose up and erupted during the early hours of Feb. 24th...The eruption split the sun's atmosphere creating a "canyon of fire" 

#OccupyFriday Finding Nemo vs. the Kraken

Incoming!!! 
[Piss] Artists impression of Kraken in search of Proper Gold

GingerZilla EXCLUSIV: Sources have revealed that the Royal Australian Navy (RAN*) have mobilised to protect Nemo and his friends from the Kraken. Other sources have even spoken of Jumping Sharks caused by Global Warning tax.

But even I did not realise the tremendous peril on the other side of the world. Behold:

Premonitions of the Faces of Evil

Some of the Kraken's effluent.
He may have escaped three cycles ago.
He must be lured back to the Mediterranean.
Our very future is at steak.
Image: Broken TV.

The future, the past and today are all the same.

The threats we face today are no different than those of our ancestors.

We are their collective imagination

What will be, has been

There is only FutureHistory

I intend to write it

Needy Animals

Emotional blackmail.
Cats should be put down*

Guest Post:

Old Age Terrorists #8 Up Yours ******

I haven't mentioned old people lately as I have been focused on the threat from the Kraken, however I have not forgotten the threat from elderly yobs. It is after all the time of year when propaganda is at it's height and we are subjected to the pure mind melting onslaught of asking for alms for grumpy, old undeserving bastards. 

Seriously you would be better off giving your money straight to a hoodie so they can score some Haribo. At least with the young there is time for them to change their ways. Unlike this vile fingered 89 year old yob who 'meant' this foul gesture:

The Lying Bastards* are Innocent

Such is the state of our democracy that journalists complain about protesters being 'self-appointed'

and serial bigots the Daily Mail along with serial hackers the Sun (who can never say sorry enough for Hillsborough or for their sister hacking dead soldiers) seem to be directing policy:

Then we hear that following this exchange "for several days there was media silence in France...a decision had been taken not to embarrass the French president":

Tory vs Tory Bring Back Fox Hunting

That the government is as entrenched in corruption as the last, or the one before that, or the one before that is no surprise. It is after all a conspiracy. A conspiracy is defined as:

2. an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons; plot.
 4. Law . an agreement by two or more persons to commit a crime, fraud, or other wrongful act.

This means hatching a plan with your neighbour to get your dogs to crap on another neighbours lawn is a conspiracy, whatever the merits or reasons for doing so (such as revenge for their cats digging up your vegetable patch and then crapping on it).

War on Mexico - Are Republicans on Drugs?

A PICTURE CAN BE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS: 

RICK PERRY EDITION

Advert Break: FootballZilla

Although if I am honest it does involve a staggeringly implausible series of connections that are statistically possible. 42 is involved.

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Let him go.

Knock Down Ginger

     

I should have a sense of fellowship for my Ginger brethren - I am after all a vociferous exponent/activist for Ginger Rights and with good reason.

Hold the Front Page!!

Bet they wish they had now, then again  the Sun could link a bowl of Rice Crispies  to most things if it suited them.

Grizzly Bears & The Sun says...it Must be True!!!

To my eternal shame I sometimes read the Sun - though in my defence I do not buy the paper and only look to see what the sharp end of the latest propaganda from the Antipodean Beast is. Unlike the broadsheets owned by the Antipodean Beast who often use mealy words, the Sun don't mince theirs - although they do make them up on many an occasion. (I am expecting them to pronounce 'Let's Bomb Russia' in the next few days!)