The Lying Bastards* are Innocent

Such is the state of our democracy that journalists complain about protesters being 'self-appointed'

and serial bigots the Daily Mail along with serial hackers the Sun (who can never say sorry enough for Hillsborough or for their sister hacking dead soldiers) seem to be directing policy:

Then we hear that following this exchange "for several days there was media silence in France...a decision had been taken not to embarrass the French president":

According to my sources this was a practical joke that crucially Israel were in on from the start. Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, these devotees of Sir Jeremy Beatles About and the dude attached to Demi Moore set up the insects in the media and were texting PMSL to each other afterwards. 

As jokes go this was not nearly as funny as this cracker from original Kraken disciple Ronald Reaganomics from 1984:

Or the time when Sarkozy and Obama shared a private joke at the expense of Arab friends at the 2009 G8 Summit:

*Smiffy is currently on compassionate leave. 

Now with this fresh in your mind note the latest from the US government sources:

The US government has formally denied that it has any knowledge of contact with extraterrestrial life. The announcement came as a response to submissions to the We The People website, which promises to address any petition that gains 5,000 signatories. Two petitions called for disclosure of government information on ETs and an acknowledgement of any contact.

More than 17,000 citizens joined these two petitions, and the White House has since amended the requirements for response to a minimum of 25,000 signatories. So according to these official sources, Aliens do not exist and we live in a democracy. Now I am really confused but that's only because it's a Tuesday somewhere on the planet still, it drains my powers. But seriously, do they really expect me to believe that X-Files have lied to me all these years? Next they'll be telling me not to worry about Zombies.

UPDATE: I don't know how I did this one, but I can't say that I am even remotely surprised to hear that Demi is having the bloke attached to her surgically removed.