Smut on Sun[day]: Privatise the Fanny

To be against porn, is to be against the natural order. To believe that the earth or anything upon this earth would offend creation is to question creation itself. Blue is part of this natural order and yet it has been adopted at the very highest levels ensuring it's curse. We, @GingerZilla demand that is #reclaimed for the sake of mankind

Swedish Source: Peter Rosén
29th Feb 2012 via @SpaceWeather

Over a few quiet beers, Smiffy informed me that the reason Fernando Torres has been unable to recapture his form is the blue curse.

Explanation: Difficult to observe, the momentary green flash above the rising or setting sun has been documented as a phenomenon caused by the atmospheric bending or refraction of sunlight. Like a weak prism, the Earth's atmosphere breaks white sunlight into colors, bending red colors slightly and green and blue colors through increasingly larger angles. When the sky is clear, a green flash just above the sun's edge can sometimes be seen for a second or so, when the sun is close to a distant horizon. A blue flash is even harder to see though, because the atmosphere must be extraordinarily clear to avoid scattering and diminishing the refracted blue sunlight

As we both hate chelski it is not surprising one of us came to this conclusion, however Smiffy was able to convince me of the merits of his theory and I feel it is worth of being shared with the world just at another time when I can be bothered when the world is ready for the true revelation research by GONADS has discovered. For now, consider that bad words are blue, pornography is called blue, chelski and birmingham are blue, the Conservative Party are blue. This may explain why, as my sources have revealed, that the conservatives are seeking to own intellectual property* rights for the vagina

Apparently, like Clarkson it was all a joke

This would not be popular with some, however despite the obvious distaste with owning another human being, there is much to consider. 

I can do jokes that are funny because I'm not an alleged 'scat munching' bather in inferior golden showers
*I did not add intellectual [property] Rights as anything property related gets enough bad  press

Invasions of privacy are odious, distressing and illegal …. but to put to bluntly they don't kill you, terrorists do Phone-hacking probe stalled as 'invasion of privacy' does not kill [Guardian on the day of the great boundary crossing]

Lizard in Sodomy Shocker

Yet there was also a tacit admission that Rupe's Antipodean Beast Corp was able to sodomise privacy rights unhindered and stick their lizard tongues out at the law

"Clearly it was just lip service being paid in the responses to the letters from us asking who else was involved…would it have been reasonable, bearing in mind we were being completely thwarted by News International, to arrest two or three journalists and invite them to make a full and frank confession? … We wouldn't have the substantial issues to put to them* [Leveson Inquiry Live, Guardian  Online]

Robbery, mostly, doesn't kill you. Stealing and fraud doesn't kill you.. Raping (iii) and pillaging mostly don't kill you either for that matter. Advertising just might. 

* This has never stopped a good police investigation. I know this I watch TV and they are always hauling someone in for questioning, especially if they are brown skinned. If you happen to be wearing wear a hood, then according to my source Bob, it is entirely reasonable to be stopped, searched and bum raped. I am however fully supportive of such tactics but believe their is a disproportionate application upon certain targeted members of society. It is no good going after those with brown skin if we ignore the threat of old age terrorists. It's only fair. 

(**) 

(iii) Apparently some people like rape, therefore on behalf of conservatives - the ones who don't agree with government interference - we should not outlaw rape. All unauthorised usage of the vagina shall be deemed when no transaction has taken place. Where an authorised transaction has occurred a fine shall be placed upon the offender of which the appropriate taxes and legal fees shall be charged lest tax payers have to foot the bill. Honourable Members may obtain a permit exempting them  from and responsibility for anything whatsoever lest taxpayers have to pay the bill.