#SPACEPORN EXCLUSIVE: Lovejoy's Back - Wanted for Questioning by Operation YouTree* ...and Scotland

Villagers preparing to defend themselves.

Cinderella is once fabled to have said "the more things change the more they stay the same". I have often said myself same shit, different day although it is quite possible if I had the winter vomiting bug, known as the Bloody Nora Virus, I may have said different shit, same day. 

Scotland Burns

Thou of an independent mind, 

With soul resolv'd, with soul resign'd; 

Prepar'd Power's proudest frown to brave, 

Who wilt not be, nor have a slave; 

Virtue alone who dost revere, 

Thy own reproach alone dost fear-

Approach this shrine, and worship here.

Inscription for an Altar of Independence

by Robert Burns

An Evil Troll - Are you Shitting Me?

Likke Bror: Norske Troll
"Trolls don't think very fast. This one has been caught by daylight and is now becoming a mountain.
Most Norwegian mountains are made of trolls like this one - say some people"
Source: : JNL

There is a reason Santa lives in Norway and not the Eastern half of Scandinavia. There is a reason most Trolls go to Iceland and have to regularly cleanse their fiery bowels afterwards. Evidence of this can be seen throughout the Western Coastline of their Viking homelands, littered with their frozen assets. Behold

ADVERT BREAK: Tory vs. Salmon (ft Nazi Panda Bear)

Some have speculated this Panda is in a medically induced coma, some have even said they are performing a nuanced interpretation of the last days of our economy as it turns into a zombie leaving the viewer wondering how long the apocalypse can feature in sequels. Yet when viewed through the softened lens of the Theory of Bob, one can see the Panda exploring the light within and without. In a single gesture this Panda has conveyed all there is to be said for the economic and weather forecasts for 2012 yet leaves us with hope. In a powerhouse performance that must surely be entered for this year's Turner Prize, we are shown the solar kick, not once but twice 1-2 confirming it's mystic origins. 

Scotland to be Privatised*

Wanted for Crimes Against the Union
Links with far right?

"Alas, I have often said to myself what are the boasted advantages which my country reaps from a certain Union that counterbalance the annihilation of her Independence, and even her name !" 

Scotland, a place where there are twice as many Panda's as there are Conservative Members of Parliament, may be punished for the indiscretion of A Salmon as dark forces threaten to tear the union apart. Rumours have circulated about affairs and rumours persist that our former friends in the North are conspiring with those even further North. Even if these rumours are found to be just that - rumours - sources have said they may just privatise Scotland to bind them to the Union as it would offend God to break the union, and  let's face it, it's only fair that someone makes a profit. As it is, one set of two-timing bastards have accused the other half** of vile things and expect them to lie down and take the abuse. However asking any Scot to lie down and think of England is hardly going to get them in the mood for getting into bed, especially, as history tells us, when there's no gold involved.

Christmas Pandamonium

Copycat Bastards
I Blame Hislop for nicking my ideas
I mean he hasn't denied it!

Scotland Braves Sun[god]'s Wrath

Conclusive Proof It's Grim Up North

I warned a long time ago about the threat from the North. Those naughty Scots have been very naughty by wanting independence in defiance of the Unionists and Tory Party. That is why staunch government sources are saying the 165mph winds recorded on Thursday are punishment from God.

#OccupyTuesday Pandamonium

The dangers of saying No to a Panda are not as well known as they should be. Not only is there video evidence of this but my sources confirm:

Though the panda is often assumed to be docile, it has been known to attack humans, presumably out of irritation

This is a perfectly natural response most people have to other people on occasion, like listening to the evil one and his beliebers or when watching the X-Factor which were combined to such effect this week that the UK had a mass protest against him last week.

Knock Down Ginger

     

I should have a sense of fellowship for my Ginger brethren - I am after all a vociferous exponent/activist for Ginger Rights and with good reason.

Winters Icy Drunken Claw - A Very Northern Threat

The nights are drawing down and winter's icy claw slowly stretches over the northern hemisphere. You can tell winter is coming from Scandinavia because animal binge drinking is on the increase as the Swann and the BBC report.

Tweet by Graham Swann Thursday, 8th September 2011