Tuesday, 6 December 2011

#OccupyTuesday Pandamonium

The dangers of saying No to a Panda are not as well known as they should be. Not only is there video evidence of this but my sources confirm:
Though the panda is often assumed to be docile, it has been known to attack humans, presumably out of irritation
This is a perfectly natural response most people have to other people on occasion, like listening to the evil one and his beliebers or when watching the X-Factor which were combined to such effect this week that the UK had a mass protest against him last week.

I am surprised that the Panda is classified as a Bear and not a Sloth. Bavarians like shooting Bears so not only would it make it safer to be a sloth but it would suit them quite well given their natural tendencies:
The giant panda tends to limit its social interactions and avoids steeply sloping terrain in order to limit its energy expenditures
It is of course possible the Panda is drunk or even stoned. I say this because Panda's have never denied alcoholism or drug taking and since two of them have moved to Scotland for the next decade the mind can only wonder. Smiffy, my source of many Irvine Welsh moments, has told me the locals in Edinburgh could well have Yang Guang (Sunshine) and Tian Tian (Sweetie) hooked on the local Sunshine Sweeties before the year is out if his experience is anything to go by. 
It was a long trip.
Image: Wikipedia
There is some historical truth to this as Panda is linked to the ancient Roman 'goddess of the pagans' which as a Celt makes my discovery of Panda+Love all the more intriguing.

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