Dave the Lizard Defending the Tithe

Panda shows reaction to latest economic news
Image

'Cameron is not defending Britain. He is defending his banking paymasters' Craig Murray

Whilst the media have been portraying the recent war with Europe as a staunch defence of Bastardness, it is no surprise that this was stretching the truth where no truth existed. Lizard Dave did this trip knowing his absence from the Bastard Isles would bring down God's wrath upon Scotland as evidenced by the Almighty storm that hit 165mph up a mountain somewhere in the far inhospitable North. There is a reason the Roman's built a friggin' wall - do we never learn the lessons from our past? The lax policies of invading liberal 'larger drinking' southerner Gauls through the years sadly failed to build upon this foundation and keep on building to protect us from the olde Northern Threat.

X-Factor News: War Declared on Santa - Kitten Put Down

ITV received several complaints after Saturday's programme of adverts was interrupted by the X-Factor. A technical failure was blamed on BT. This is not a coincidence. Nothing is statistically speaking. But several users of BT should take this opportunity to complain through BBC Watchdog. On second thoughts scrap that Anne Robinson may be ginger but she was born on a Tuesday and there is a red conspiracy that lies at the heart of BBC programming.

Blue Sky Thinking or Praying to the Volcano Gods

The Airlines are moaning yet again crying into their meagre soup, telling us that when it comes to Icelandic volcanoes called Eyjafjallajokull and safety in the skies:

“airlines are best placed to take the final decisions on whether or not it is safe to fly”

Yes, the people who run corporations (such as airlines) and have a legal duty to their shareholders to make money are of course the best placed to make this decision. And of course, “European governments [should] bail out the airlines with what ultimately is taxpayers' money” for not allowing them to fly last time around.

And all because…

Cameron met a black man

Capitalism - A Marabou Stork Nightmare

It's only Monday and the markets are taking a hammering and the dollar is crashing again. As usual the BBC's Robert Peston offered some analysis on Meltdown Monday but unsurprisingly its the comments from the public that are more insightful than the BBC's own(although I do concede that there is another bovine element that post on message boards). Take for example this gem from sizzlestick:

"In 1997, we dumb Asians listened in abject humility as the "wise" men of both IMF and the World Bank lectured us what a sound financial system should be like. These guys went so far as to brand Malaysian PM Dr. Mahathir an incompetent Finance Minister who practised [sic] voodoo economics. 

So how now? Any wise advices [sic] for the incompetent US Fed Governor and Secretary of the Treasury."

The Gervaise family are known for their long beaks and links to General Depravity.
GONADS have theorised these features evolved for digging in corpses and snorting Columbia's finest.

Well, for what it's worth, I have some advice.

Dig Deep for Oil Relief

Despite announcing Big Profits[1] the poor and disadvantaged big gas & oil companies are hurting. This is an Esso S, everyone dig hard into your pockets and Shell out for Oil Relief. We need your government’s Total commitment. (All puns intended)

According to an article in today's Financial Times " The new Seven Sisters: oil and gas giants dwarf western rivals [2]": “The International Energy Agency, the developed world’s sectoral watchdog, calculates that 90 per cent of new supplies will come from developing countries in the next 40 years." This is a cause for concern.

Except for our nice friends the Saudi’s, who give corruption, repression and absolutism, new meaning[3]. We like to do business with these kinda guys and pull out all the stops to make it so, as Blair recently showed by pulling the plug on the Serious Fraud Office’s investigation into the BAE, Saudi arms deal.[4]