Saturday 7 April 2012

War on Mexico: Steven Seagal vs Pancho Villa

BORDER WARS
Under Siege - the Prequel
The Zen 'Laughing' Seagul ready to prevent unauthorised entry
For all intents and purposes a border dispute is a war, especially if it involves your neighbours. So the question is not if the war with Mexico ever stopped, because it didn't, but when did they change the name? Boundaries are very important to prevent unauthorised entry. Unfortunately we will always live in a world of thieving bastards - as I proclaimed last October
Many Southern States have already reported an increase in locals turning up...so they can fight the ongoing Mexican insurgency. My sources have said that the Mexican Drug Cartels are using a form of Capitalism not officially sanctioned by the government and so must be stopped
Enter alleged puppy killer Casey 'Seagull' Ryback. He will single handedly be able to take on the biggest drug lords in Mexico - once official sources convince him that Mexicans have kidnapped his daughter. It will be the biggest reality television program of all time. According to sources close to Seagul, this news will create a great wave of capitalist zen which will pound the fragile Mexican consciousness. Morale is already low due to the frequent foraging forays of 50,000 American grunts in search of burittos. Unless this David versus Goliath is stopped we will have to formalise the border dispute
there is a lot of crazy stuff going on with the border wars these days. Probably more than 50,000 people have been killed in the border wars over the last few years, which is way more than Iraq and Afghanistan. Don't you think this should be declared a war too?"
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Nasty Mis Amigos present...
Pancho Villa's fake green card*
* I think I am going colour blind


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In the year of the mighty 12, at the time of passover 5772(**) I heard a Rabbi teach
This Pesach I’m thinking about exceedingly radical message at the heart of the story we’ll retell around the seder table tonight. I’m thinking in particular about what the story tells us about power, about the ways the powerful wield their power against the less powerful, and about the inevitability of corrupt power’s eventual fall.  And I’m thinking about what is possibly the most radical message of all: that there is a Power greater, yes even greater than human power. Woe betide the empire that fails to heed this message. Powerful empires have come and gone, but the Power that Makes for Liberation still manages to live to fight another day. Will the Pharoahs among us ever learn?
(**) If you're interested, 5+7+7+2=21 and is therefore statistical proof of the Theory of Bob. I don't have to make stuff like this up it just happens as foretold. 


DISCLAIMER: FutureHistory, subject to the prophesy of the Prophet Bob, is open to debate as long as you agree with me. 

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