Why the Queen is not a LIZard

Colourful Clothes are Acceptable. Thoughts are Not.
Outside Buckingham Palace yesterday.Image: Retlaw Snellac

Did those feet from ancient times walk upon our green and pleasant land or did the sun fail in the sky and the heavens cried. Whilst the rest of the world will revel in the glory of the morning star, heralding the change in the heavens, we are cast under clouds. But it shall not always reign over our blessed sceptred isles

Will this time become known in future as Elizardbethan or the time of the Great Schism when ideas became so detached from the reality we could not see the unemployed proles were being honoured when we allowed them to prepare the streets in the pouring rain for the chosen.

The rain was a message from the Sun[god], using clouds to shield us from the message of the great Solar Chicken. This could of course be the story of Italian Chicken, depending who your sources in these things are. The BBC likes to use military sources, since that's what Kings and Queens do best...war. Why else would we have warrior kings and queens standing up against the bloody foreigners trying to take our land, or rather the land of our masters.

Frankie Boyle is clearly nicking my theories on the Kraken hoping his misspelling will save him a lawsuit

The pageantry of a Jubilee is not to lavishly honour the divine right of kings (although admittedly it has become a ceremony of royal favour). The original ceremony was to honour the Gods, which is why we are clouded and not bathed in sunshine.

It could be for this very reason that the Royal Party have been trying to claim additional benefits as part of the government scheme to cut down on yee heating bills; 

The Queen asked ministers for a poverty handout to help heat her palaces but was rebuffed because they feared it would be a public relations disaster...Royal aides were told that the £60m worth of energy-saving grants were aimed at families on low incomes ...Aides complained to ministers in 2004 that the Queen's gas and electricity bills, which had increased by 50 per cent that year, stood at more than £1m a year and had become "untenable". The Royal Household also complained that the £15m government grant to maintain the Queen's palaces was inadequate.

Last year thermal imaging technology, used to identify and measure energy waste, showed heat pouring through the closed curtained windows, the roof and cracks in the walls. A team of energy surveyors labelled the Palace "shocking and appalling", the biggest "central heating radiator" in the capital and gave it a score of 0 out of 10.

According to some sources, our Queen doesn't do green not for any particular political position which would be unconstitutional, rather she's trying not to draw attention to the uncomfortable fact that, like Dave, she's been outed as a Lizard

and is using her power and influence to eradicate communist rats. This is understandable considering some of her bloodline was executed by a plague of free thinking rats that spread throughout the Old Empire. When faced with a portentous problem it is best to destroy what you don't understand in the hope it will be driven away.

It is no coincidence that Big Brother launched his latest offensive on the masses as the festivities reached their zenith. This is of course to distract the masses from the transit across the face of the sun - as seen from earth - of Venus, the morning star

In Roman astronomy, Lucifer was the name given to the morning star (the star we now know by another Roman name, Venus). The morning star appears in the heavens just before dawn, heralding the rising sun. The name derives from the Latin term lucem ferre, bringer, or bearer, of light."

It is still a Double Monday somewhere on this planet but something momentous will happen as this day has 12:12 written all over it. This day also has holds great significance for all things Swedish.