#Krakageddon Blowing up the Great Barrier Reef

It has been a long war.

We know in the hunt for Osama Bed Linen it was necessary to drop bombs on mountainsides. We know that 'war games' in the seas occupied by "yellow bastards" was a cover in the Hunt for the Kraken. We now see something fishy with the following story;

US fighter jets dropped inert bombs on the Great Barrier Reef off Australia's coast during a training exercise that went wrong, it has emerged. 

The two planes jettisoned four bombs in more than 50m (165 ft) of water, away from coral, to minimise damage to the World Heritage Site, the US navy said. 

The jets had intended to drop at a bombing range on a nearby island, but Tuesday's [double Monday's] mission was aborted. Communist Rat Sources

New Cuban Missile Crisis: Meteorite American Haarp* Weapon

Russian Bob reports:

the America Imperialist Pig is planning to capture an asteroid and hold small brown countries to ransom if they don't hand over the black gold. 

He also reports NADA may have been behind the meteorite that squeezed into Russian airspace using Haarp* to lull it down from the heavens. This may explain why first hand reports in the Urinals of Russia reported that

Germany Demands Gold for Kraken

Because of greedy french bastards the Kraken will break free!
How on earth will we get pissed on now?

Last year I revealed (by quoting someone else) in No Gold Shocker for Kraken;

America’s gold is off limits to seemingly everyone and has never been properly audited. Doesn’t that seem odd to you?

and warned in my own words;

Rated R for Retarded*

Stupid Ben Afflicted. 

The object of persecution is persecution. The object of torture is torture. The object of power is power.

If the Party could thrust its hand into the past and say of this or that event, it never happened — that, surely, was more terrifying than mere torture and death? George Orwell 1984

Ben Afflect stars in this made up version of history 'documentary' film Special Needs directed by lying fuckwit Kathryn Bigelow which has lots of action and no fucking facts whatsoever - although they will claim it was based on a true story, just not the one they are filming.

#FutureHistory We Dont Need No Stinking Gold Standards

If you tilt your head the Golden Krakenhead appears*

He who has the gold, makes the rules.

To see the root of evil sometimes you only need to scrape away the shit in your eyes. Only then will you see that nothing really changes and just like our ancestors we are deep in shit not of our own making.

Britain is the slave of an international financial bloc.

America Mobilises Crack Squid as Kraken Invades Japan

Enter the Kraken

(Reuters) - Japan and the United States will hold a biennial joint military exercise in Japan in November in a move likely to further anger China* amid heightened tensions between the two Asian giants over disputed(**) islets in the East China Sea.

About 37,400 military personnel from Japan will join some 10,000 U.S. troops in the November 5-16 drill, an official at Japan's Self-Defence Forces said.

This is the official 'cover story' and therefore contains only vague elements of truth such as using the English alphabet. Before you dive behind the sofa fearing this is one of the opening acts of World War IV no war is planned despite the fervent cries for blood by the Asian Tigers(i)

Solar Fart to Save America from Pounding?

"Heaven and Earth may be aligning to turn Hurricane Sandy into a real monster, just in time for Halloween."

NASA Sees Hurricane Sandy as the "Bride of Frankenstorm" Approaching U.S. East Coast

Warm, wild and wet from Cuba is promising to mingle juices with penetrating cold from Canada. The resulting froth is promising to explode over the eastern coast of America. Helped by the rhythmic motion of the full moon the surge could make things very messy as NASA explain;

#ReclaimTuesday - The Camera Always Lies

'The names have been changed to protect the guilty'

Economically speaking we find ourselves being hurtled down the rapids without a paddle on a river of shit. Politically our leaders have their arses pointing in the raft adding to the shit splashing on the people paddling. When you are surrounded by shit then you either have your head up your arse or you're surrounded by arseholes. But sometimes something beautiful can grow from shit;

“Readers have asked us why this was such a big deal. What’s wrong with changing the content of a photograph that is published in a newspaper? The answer is simple: It is dishonest,” Royhab wrote. “Journalism, whether by using words or pictures, must be an accurate representation of the truth.” Photo Tampering History

Sun[god] to CERN[god] "Meh"

Public information films have only taught me that America was a very violent place and is prone to being flattened in a series of disasters brought on by an addiction to pornographic levels of DOOM. However, rather than respond to aggression in kind, the Sun[god] went Meh

"The sunspot's magnetic canopy is crackling with almost [but nearly]-X class flares...each "crackle" releases more energy than a billion atomic bombs" SpaceWeather

 Although to us mere mortals this is quite possibly a vulgar display of power, which is quite the in thing in the news these days, on earth we mirrored this Great Meh when we reacted to the news that CERN, the Communist European Rat Nursery, announced that they have nearly but not quite found what they are looking for before passing out the begging bowl so they can continue to communicate with God.

No Gold Shocker for Kraken

In this very building, deep in the underground vaults, sits billions of dollars of gold**, held by the Federal Reserve for foreign governments. The Federal Reserve gives regular tours of these vaults, even to school children. Yet, America’s gold is off limits to seemingly everyone and has never been properly audited. Doesn’t that seem odd to you? If nothing else, does anyone at the Fed know the quality and fineness of the gold at Fort Knox? Bob to the Feds: "Leave the Building to the Four-Legged Rats" 

I ask if this is a tacit admission that the federal reserve should be given over to communists rats? We all know the Kraken has been promised this long overdue offering of gold,* If all contracts are to be off then this could get very, very ugly.

* less a six per cent administrative fee for all Kraken based consultations.

Kraken Threatens to Eat Polar Bears if Demands not Met

Activists try and avoid being eaten whilst looking for bears that Mann hasn't eaten

BREAKING: The Kraken has threatened to eat all the Polar Bears unless his demands for Gold* are met. A crack squad of Global Warning Sharks has been sent on a mission to the North Pole in the hope of fending him off by bashing him on the nose a few times in the hope he heads back to Greece. Whilst many had hoped to encounter open waters, the Arctic is not as ice free as hoped

Leaked Email Shocker: Massive Doom to Bring Peace

Sarkozy and Assad raising army of the dead

Certain bells are not ringing but pounding in my head and I am trembling having seen the portents that threaten doom boom. Whilst the media are beating the drum to convince us that the only way to save brown people is to bomb them to salvation, dark forces have been plotting a jolly good carve up of the gold, because it's always about gold. The public, heavily sedated in spirit are unaware of a secret deal between the government in waiting and the vast administration eagerly awaiting a new assignment in the Arab world. Bob, who speaks French - the alleged language of diplomacy - was sent this stunning classified document from ‘official sources' who wish to remain anonymous. 

re: Minutes meeting of thee Spiritual Leader and Ambassador 

Rabbit Killing Newt Goes Free

Why did no one else listen when 
My Chemical Romance
said
Run Bunny, Run?
[Artists impression*]

I am disgusted that there has not been an uprising by sane thinking Americans after Newt Gingrich recently said 

There are lots of bunny rabbits to run through, I am the tortoise.

This not just telling the world he is a lizard, which is shocking enough, but he has explicitly admitting that he has premeditated the heinous crime of running over cute bunnies like these:

ADVERT BREAK: PETA Meat Slap Panda Controversy

Feminists at the New Statesman are again viciously attacking Panda's [the most Zen creature in the known universe]:

unlike say, the Ryanair advert banned this week for objectifying its staff, this PETA advert doesn't in the slightest make me want to go vegan. In fact, quite the opposite. So not only will I happily call them out, but I'm going to smother myself in foie gras and panda steaks.

I don't do typos. I do smut it's a populism and boobs thing.

All I Want for Christmas is War

It appears Mexico has backed down in their ongoing war with the United States and refused to take political prisoner Saadi Gaddafi. This could be a breach of international obligations but since no one cares about them any more we will move on. 

The liberal idiot Jon Stewart has declared war on Christmas (see video below if it works why not try giggle). This is typical of liberal idiots always getting it wrong. It's Santa that needs to be taken out so we can free the Panda inside him. Reclaim the Festive season and get back to worshipping the Sungod and his Panda. As Hannibal said in antiquity, 'Of course I have a plan. But it's a secret.'

The Panda Inside Santa Must be Freed!
Is this picture from Wikipedia Panda Porn?

War on Mexico: America sends in the Grunts

BREAKING: "Mexico fights invasion...Animals crossing into country from Texas"

I warned that GOP presidential candidate Rick Perry was planning a war on Mexico. Now I have found that the Republican stronghold of Texas is regularly sending 50,000 grunts onto Mexican soil in a massive escalation of hostilities although as no one has actually declared war, it's still not a war like the Vietnam Conflict. 

The Grunts, descended from a race of Europeans, are according to my sources "ferocious, destroy crops and attack humans...weigh an average of 220 pounds [100 kilos or 15st 10.5lb], with some weighing up to 330 pounds [a whopping 150 kg or 23st 8.7lb]." 

Old Age Terrorists Part Four# Maggie's Benefit Fraud

The Economic Axis of Evil - Look How Old they Are

"Former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has claimed £535,000 of taxpayers' money over the last five years, government records have shown." [Margaret Thatcher claims £535,000 for ex-PM duties BBC News]

War on Mexico - Are Republicans on Drugs?

A PICTURE CAN BE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS: 

RICK PERRY EDITION

The Real King is Dead - Long Live the King

A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defence than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death

Martin Luther King had a dream that went beyond the "romanticized and whitewashed...in order to fit the man and his struggle neatly within the prevailing political and economic power structures in a largely uncritical and non-threatening manner. This portrayal of Dr. King has been mass marketed as an accommodationist figure and is now so pervasive in our schools, media, etc. that it threatens to neutralize and placate the most ambitious, daring and challenging of King's critique along with his struggle to confront and organize against not only racism, but economic exploitation and militarism-imperialism as well."

Capitalism - A Marabou Stork Nightmare

It's only Monday and the markets are taking a hammering and the dollar is crashing again. As usual the BBC's Robert Peston offered some analysis on Meltdown Monday but unsurprisingly its the comments from the public that are more insightful than the BBC's own(although I do concede that there is another bovine element that post on message boards). Take for example this gem from sizzlestick:

"In 1997, we dumb Asians listened in abject humility as the "wise" men of both IMF and the World Bank lectured us what a sound financial system should be like. These guys went so far as to brand Malaysian PM Dr. Mahathir an incompetent Finance Minister who practised [sic] voodoo economics. 

So how now? Any wise advices [sic] for the incompetent US Fed Governor and Secretary of the Treasury."

The Gervaise family are known for their long beaks and links to General Depravity.
GONADS have theorised these features evolved for digging in corpses and snorting Columbia's finest.

Well, for what it's worth, I have some advice.