New Cuban Missile Crisis: Meteorite American Haarp* Weapon

Russian Bob reports:

the America Imperialist Pig is planning to capture an asteroid and hold small brown countries to ransom if they don't hand over the black gold. 

He also reports NADA may have been behind the meteorite that squeezed into Russian airspace using Haarp* to lull it down from the heavens. This may explain why first hand reports in the Urinals of Russia reported that

Germany Demands Gold for Kraken

Because of greedy french bastards the Kraken will break free!
How on earth will we get pissed on now?

Last year I revealed (by quoting someone else) in No Gold Shocker for Kraken;

America’s gold is off limits to seemingly everyone and has never been properly audited. Doesn’t that seem odd to you?

and warned in my own words;

#FutureHistory We Dont Need No Stinking Gold Standards

If you tilt your head the Golden Krakenhead appears*

He who has the gold, makes the rules.

To see the root of evil sometimes you only need to scrape away the shit in your eyes. Only then will you see that nothing really changes and just like our ancestors we are deep in shit not of our own making.

Britain is the slave of an international financial bloc.

Kraken Down on Gold

"when will the people of the UK demand some justice from their Prime Minister, whose borderline act of treason merely to bailout a few financial institutions". Tyler Durden

Celtic Counter Claims

Apparently the Chinese are making claims.
Steadfastly I tell you we invented Yiggy Yaggy*

America Mobilises Crack Squid as Kraken Invades Japan

Enter the Kraken

(Reuters) - Japan and the United States will hold a biennial joint military exercise in Japan in November in a move likely to further anger China* amid heightened tensions between the two Asian giants over disputed(**) islets in the East China Sea.

About 37,400 military personnel from Japan will join some 10,000 U.S. troops in the November 5-16 drill, an official at Japan's Self-Defence Forces said.

This is the official 'cover story' and therefore contains only vague elements of truth such as using the English alphabet. Before you dive behind the sofa fearing this is one of the opening acts of World War IV no war is planned despite the fervent cries for blood by the Asian Tigers(i)

No Gold Shocker for Kraken

In this very building, deep in the underground vaults, sits billions of dollars of gold**, held by the Federal Reserve for foreign governments. The Federal Reserve gives regular tours of these vaults, even to school children. Yet, America’s gold is off limits to seemingly everyone and has never been properly audited. Doesn’t that seem odd to you? If nothing else, does anyone at the Fed know the quality and fineness of the gold at Fort Knox? Bob to the Feds: "Leave the Building to the Four-Legged Rats" 

I ask if this is a tacit admission that the federal reserve should be given over to communists rats? We all know the Kraken has been promised this long overdue offering of gold,* If all contracts are to be off then this could get very, very ugly.

* less a six per cent administrative fee for all Kraken based consultations.

Kraken Threatens to Eat Polar Bears if Demands not Met

Activists try and avoid being eaten whilst looking for bears that Mann hasn't eaten

BREAKING: The Kraken has threatened to eat all the Polar Bears unless his demands for Gold* are met. A crack squad of Global Warning Sharks has been sent on a mission to the North Pole in the hope of fending him off by bashing him on the nose a few times in the hope he heads back to Greece. Whilst many had hoped to encounter open waters, the Arctic is not as ice free as hoped

The Kraken: Going for Gold

Force and control on display.
The perfect accompaniment to economic hardship. 

Come and see 

Lockdown London

featuring the 

UK's biggest mobilisation of military and security forces since the second world war"

I've read enough action and adventure books to know this has something to do with stolen Nazi Gold. At the very least, I would like to take this opportunity to let the French shrug their shoulders and deny everything.

#FutureHistory: Reclaim Friday13th

“Man, once surrendering his reason, has no remaining guard against absurdities the most monstrous, and like a ship without rudder, is the sport of every wind. With such persons, gullibility, which they call faith, takes the helm from the hand of reason and the mind becomes a wreck.” –Thomas Jefferson, letter to James Smith, 1822

I propose to offer old people as a sacrifice to appease the volcano gods

At this time of the waning, let us hope that the light stays with us in the darkness. Let us