New Cuban Missile Crisis: Meteorite American Haarp* Weapon

Russian Bob reports:

the America Imperialist Pig is planning to capture an asteroid and hold small brown countries to ransom if they don't hand over the black gold. 

He also reports NADA may have been behind the meteorite that squeezed into Russian airspace using Haarp* to lull it down from the heavens. This may explain why first hand reports in the Urinals of Russia reported that

#CommunistRats Hugo's Mutant DNA Strain

Fear and Loathing in Brasil 

Apparently I'm supposed to do a piece about Hugo Chavez. As he has mutant DNA, great swathes of the western world are eagerly waiting to piss on his grave. I asked if I should be compassionate to another human being but apparently he is not just a communist rat, but the feared National Socialist strain. In this light I will rehash something from six earth cycles ago in Dig Deep for Oil Relief. Behold;

Dig Deep for Oil Relief

Despite announcing Big Profits[1] the poor and disadvantaged big gas & oil companies are hurting. This is an Esso S, everyone dig hard into your pockets and Shell out for Oil Relief. We need your government’s Total commitment. (All puns intended)

According to an article in today's Financial Times " The new Seven Sisters: oil and gas giants dwarf western rivals [2]": “The International Energy Agency, the developed world’s sectoral watchdog, calculates that 90 per cent of new supplies will come from developing countries in the next 40 years." This is a cause for concern.

Except for our nice friends the Saudi’s, who give corruption, repression and absolutism, new meaning[3]. We like to do business with these kinda guys and pull out all the stops to make it so, as Blair recently showed by pulling the plug on the Serious Fraud Office’s investigation into the BAE, Saudi arms deal.[4]