Penguins to Communicate with Sun[god] During Solar Eclipse

These are indeed dark times, about to get even darker.

Penguin solar eclipse. With the new moon on Tuesday, double monday April 29, at exactly 2:14 a.m. EDT, the lunar disk will partially cover the sun over Australia, a partial solar eclipse. Farther south, a lopsided annular “Ring of Fire” eclipse will occur near the horizon for a tiny, uninhabited sliver of Antarctica. Only penguins will most likely enjoy front-row seats to the sky spectacle.

Now whilst such flights of fancy are reasonable, it must be noted that 21 is sacred as is 42. I am also highly suspicious of anything related to cats and the hate preacher host makes no secret of his nefarious allegiances. GONADS the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Development in Science, have assured me that the consensus of scientist's they asked is that cats are evil representing the greatest threat to mankind and it's biodiversity since the last greatest threat was declared the greatest threat! Cats could well be trying to take control of the vile vorticies.

Blackhole? Bermuda Triangle? Has Porn Solved the Missing Airline Mystery?

This has come in over the wire

The Twitter account of US Airways crashed into a black hole of unknown origin, possibly due to a lack of a landing strip

Bermuda Triangle?
The full unadulterated image 

cc_rider: Damn... I think they just figured out what happened to that missing 777.

Whatthefark: This raises the question, has Malaysia Airlines checked all vaginas for the missing plane? If they have, what were the results? If they haven't, then why not. Cover up? Was it found in the vagina of Malaysia Airlines owner's wife? Were multiple pieces found in multiple vaginas? Farking source

This is an interesting proposition and not without merit, however to accommodate a fully grown aeroplane we need a bigger pussy. 

#SPACEPORN EXCLUSIVE: Lovejoy's Back - Wanted for Questioning by Operation YouTree* ...and Scotland

Villagers preparing to defend themselves.

Cinderella is once fabled to have said "the more things change the more they stay the same". I have often said myself same shit, different day although it is quite possible if I had the winter vomiting bug, known as the Bloody Nora Virus, I may have said different shit, same day. 

New Cuban Missile Crisis: Meteorite American Haarp* Weapon

Russian Bob reports:

the America Imperialist Pig is planning to capture an asteroid and hold small brown countries to ransom if they don't hand over the black gold. 

He also reports NADA may have been behind the meteorite that squeezed into Russian airspace using Haarp* to lull it down from the heavens. This may explain why first hand reports in the Urinals of Russia reported that

Police Strike to Help Hard up Public

Hidden amongst all the panic over pasties and petrol is a very real threat of general strike infiltrating the police. As anyone who has ever seen Robocop, the thought of a strike by the rank and file police would introduce anarchy to every street across these Bastard Isles. Instead of shaking down this corrupt profession (as corrupt as any profession with power) to root out the bad seeds and making sure they are well paid, I decided to look at the view from the plod first

Recent events have shown that the thought of a police strike would not induce panic buying ahead of potential riots that may be brought on by the strike. *Why would the English public panic buy goods when they can wait for the start of the strike and help themselves to shop contents for free? townpoliceclauses

Evil French Lies*

Whilst researching this article I found this.
Even I could not have made this up.
Google did and someone got paid.

I Don't Like Tuesday's I Fucking Hate Them

When were you born? Can you join my cause?
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This blog was started five years ago tomorrow, so I am revisiting some of the core principles I hold in the hope you may better understand the importance of my mission. It is no coincidence that on most of the planet right now it is a Double Monday.

Whilst consumerist morons are waylaid by Valentine's Day, avid readers of this blog will know that Tuesday is Double Monday and is inherently and utterly evil. What you may not know is why I have been on a mission to destroy this day since the dawn of my time.... 

Pandamonium #2: Pandagate Vs Red Feminist Conspiracy

Panda's sit back and admire.
This gate is designed to achieve the highest states of consciousness
No keepers were harmed in the making of this gate
Image: Wikipedia

Nothing you may have read on the #PandaGate furore is anything other than hyperbole from the ill informed. No one on this earth is as knowledgeable as I am when it comes to understanding the true nature of the most Zen creature in the known universe - Panda's.

Old Age Terrorists Part 6 #OccupyMonday

I can't believe I missed the significance of this. The seniors are trying to take over the Occupy movement. This can never be allowed to happen. We must pacify them first by threatening to reduce their winter fuel payments even more. I am also very concerned by the opening sentence of this piece:

Occupy Chicago is about to learn what civil disobedience was like back in the day.

Civil disobedience back in the day

Tory vs Tory Bring Back Fox Hunting

That the government is as entrenched in corruption as the last, or the one before that, or the one before that is no surprise. It is after all a conspiracy. A conspiracy is defined as:

2. an evil, unlawful, treacherous, or surreptitious plan formulated in secret by two or more persons; plot.
 4. Law . an agreement by two or more persons to commit a crime, fraud, or other wrongful act.

This means hatching a plan with your neighbour to get your dogs to crap on another neighbours lawn is a conspiracy, whatever the merits or reasons for doing so (such as revenge for their cats digging up your vegetable patch and then crapping on it).

Striking the Sun God - Man Takes on the Sun

They said it was a comet that 'disintegrated' as it approached the Sun God and coincided with an explosion :

"The timing of the CME so soon after the comet dove into the sun suggests a link. But what? There is no known mechanism for comets to trigger solar explosions...pure coincidence is still the most likely explanation...Could a puny comet cause a magnetic instability that might propagate and blossom into a impressive CME? The question is not so crazy as it once seemed to be." [Comet and CME, spaceweather.com]

This is not scientists admitting that the assumptions we have built our world upon, like the speed of light not being exceeded, how the sun works or the universe that surrounds us, have gaping holes in them. Scientists don't admit things like that. It's bad for publicity and makes you look like you don't know what you're doing, which even if true still doesn't look good. It's an image thing, even if science has founded itself on trying to discover what it doesn't know rather than preaching to the converted.

No contamination
outside the dead-zone

Considering Scientists and Governments keep telling us Nuclear Energy is safe as earthquakes continue to conspire against our reactors and forcing them to shut down because they are not up to the job of the earth rattling a wee bit, it's not good to admit we're not sure any more. Civilisation will surely fall if we admit that we are not omnipotent. However since there is no known link between the sun and earthquakes (it's all a coincidence like Tories and Riots) I turned to Hollywood to understand the motives of nefarious governments (how else would they normalise the unthinkable) and found out they are trying to Restart the Sun! The Sun is not doing what it should and so needs to be taught a lesson - who else but mankind could take on God?

It was then I did as Spaceweather advised and watched again. To my disbelief I saw not a comet, but a cosmic missile that scientists have fired to test a theory Mankind or the Illuminati is trying to control the Sun God. Sod, declaring war on Mexico, we just declared war on the Sun!

The Sun's Face is Censored by Scientists so we cannot see it's pain.

Advert Break: FootballZilla

Although if I am honest it does involve a staggeringly implausible series of connections that are statistically possible. 42 is involved.

ADVERTISEMENT

Let him go.

The Curse of Oceanic 815

According to Twitter; 

Thursday, 22nd September 11 was the 7th anniversary of  when Oceanic 815 went down: 

The Death Star Code

The Power of the Sun God

Image: NASA (There is no way on this planet I saying I am in any was associated ;) 

The more I learn about our Sun God, the more I am in awe of its mighty power. The astronomical wonders are revealed to me by NASA and Star Wars, with a measure of Star Trek if I'm being honest. Which may explain when when I saw the Cranial Mass Ejections from the mind of the Sun God above I was transfixed. If you stare at the image long enough you find yourself in a hypnotic trance.  I felt the almighty power of the sun and I knew it was our own Death Star which the Mayans predicted will do something unpleasant. in 2012. Which also happens to be the 25th Anniversary Star Wars release. This circularity in my thinking could explain why only now Scientists are able to reveal Tatooine exists!

Message from the Sun God

The Sun God has spoken. It is communicating with us. He bears gifts for humanity. Check out this Smiley

Image: SpaceWeather.Com

Tea Parties Cause Mental Retardation?

Illustration by Victor Juhasz, Copyright Rolling Stone Magazine

When even Rush Limbaugh says that you may have 'blown it' with the latest effluent coming out of your mouth - you are in a mentally retarded class of your own. 

Well what else am I expected to think after this from Tea Party fundamentalist and candidate for the Republican Party Presidential nomination, Michele Bachman: 

I had a mother last night come up to me here in Tampa after the debate. She told me that her little daughter took that vaccine, that injection, and she suffered from mental retardation thereafter. It can have very dangerous side effects. [Richard Adams, Guardian, Michele Bachmann, the HPV vaccine and the Republican landscape]

Knock Down Ginger

     

I should have a sense of fellowship for my Ginger brethren - I am after all a vociferous exponent/activist for Ginger Rights and with good reason.

Shocking GONADS Discovery

Today I can reveal that the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Understanding in Science (GONADS) have made an important discovery that may change the face of the planet as we know it.

Hunting Hoodies

One month on and I am still quite fragile and prone to fear in the aftermath of the #riots* [a.k.a. #londonriots #ukriots #englishriots]. I was suspicious about geese movement and birds tweeting beforehand and as we now know tweeting may have been responsible for the riots – despite what Ken Clarke and various think tanks may have said since.

ASBO in the Skies

Earlier this year I saw how wonderful it was to not have vicious thugs vandalising our skies. Now as these pictures prove, we should be taking firm action against the ring leaders serve ASBO’s on Stelios and Branson before these yobs take over the skies. These sadistic aerial thugs give a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘broken cloud’.

The picture (right) clearly shows a heartless airborne thug  assaulting a defenceless cloud by viciously slashing right through it. An appalled passerby said ‘I was listening to a nightingale sing when I hear this appalling sound  and I thought I heard a scream. When I looked up I saw the cloud being assaulted and took the picture. It was horrible there were bits of clouds, scarlet in the setting sun, everywhere. The cloud must have been in agony.

They come around the same time every evening  and terrorise the neighbourhood. It was only a matter of time before a cloud got hurt.’