Penguins to Communicate with Sun[god] During Solar Eclipse

These are indeed dark times, about to get even darker.

Penguin solar eclipse. With the new moon on Tuesday, double monday April 29, at exactly 2:14 a.m. EDT, the lunar disk will partially cover the sun over Australia, a partial solar eclipse. Farther south, a lopsided annular “Ring of Fire” eclipse will occur near the horizon for a tiny, uninhabited sliver of Antarctica. Only penguins will most likely enjoy front-row seats to the sky spectacle.

Now whilst such flights of fancy are reasonable, it must be noted that 21 is sacred as is 42. I am also highly suspicious of anything related to cats and the hate preacher host makes no secret of his nefarious allegiances. GONADS the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Development in Science, have assured me that the consensus of scientist's they asked is that cats are evil representing the greatest threat to mankind and it's biodiversity since the last greatest threat was declared the greatest threat! Cats could well be trying to take control of the vile vorticies.

#Krakageddon Blowing up the Great Barrier Reef

It has been a long war.

We know in the hunt for Osama Bed Linen it was necessary to drop bombs on mountainsides. We know that 'war games' in the seas occupied by "yellow bastards" was a cover in the Hunt for the Kraken. We now see something fishy with the following story;

US fighter jets dropped inert bombs on the Great Barrier Reef off Australia's coast during a training exercise that went wrong, it has emerged. 

The two planes jettisoned four bombs in more than 50m (165 ft) of water, away from coral, to minimise damage to the World Heritage Site, the US navy said. 

The jets had intended to drop at a bombing range on a nearby island, but Tuesday's [double Monday's] mission was aborted. Communist Rat Sources

Old Age Terrorists #13 Queensland's Public Enemy #1

It could well be Mr. Burns and Murdoch in a perverse collaboration

Through the course of everyday life you come across obstacles. How you tackle them reveals much about your personality and often what is going on in your life. Unless you prepare yourself properly then this happens:

Kraken Threatens to Eat Polar Bears if Demands not Met

Activists try and avoid being eaten whilst looking for bears that Mann hasn't eaten

BREAKING: The Kraken has threatened to eat all the Polar Bears unless his demands for Gold* are met. A crack squad of Global Warning Sharks has been sent on a mission to the North Pole in the hope of fending him off by bashing him on the nose a few times in the hope he heads back to Greece. Whilst many had hoped to encounter open waters, the Arctic is not as ice free as hoped

#OccupyFriday Finding Nemo vs. the Kraken

Incoming!!! 
[Piss] Artists impression of Kraken in search of Proper Gold

GingerZilla EXCLUSIV: Sources have revealed that the Royal Australian Navy (RAN*) have mobilised to protect Nemo and his friends from the Kraken. Other sources have even spoken of Jumping Sharks caused by Global Warning tax.

But even I did not realise the tremendous peril on the other side of the world. Behold:

#OccupyTuesday: A Letter to my Old Age Stalker*

4th Double Monday of the Mighty 12

*A letter to my stalker in the hopes it will appease him. I do not want the old people realising my policy proposals are not satire. This small font is one small way of combating them and, like governments, treating them like mushrooms by keeping them in the dark and in the shit. The only bad part of keeping them in the dark is they have more money towards winter fuel payments and less die as planned. There is however the plus side which is the energy companies can recoup some of the vast amounts these scroungers scam from them every winter by wearing extra jumpers and hiding under blankets.

Dear Les, 

I didn't know they were after the Acropolis** as the cost of export would be prohibitive with rising fuel costs despite the recent plunder of Carthage.

I couldn't give a XXXX for Fosters

Made in the UK for Fucking Idiots with no tastebuds

I was saddened recently when I heard the Violent Femmes classic 'Blister in the Sun' on a Fosters advertisement. I had to do a double take and the Violent Femmes, an Alternative rock, underground band (that sold more than most underground bands) who were massively influential (their songs have appeared in tv shows, movies, video games and have been covered widely) greatly went down in my estimation as complete sell outs.

The Violent Femmes are not a struggling or emerging band and so having one of their songs used in a commercial reminded me of a Bill Hicks quote:

"Here's the deal, folks, you do a commercial, you're off the artistic roll call forever, end of story ... If you do a commercial, there's a price on your head, everything you say is suspect...You know, if you're young and struggling, OK, I'll look the other way. Still, you do a commercial and you're off the artistic roll call forever and that goes for everyone ... except Willie Nelson. With a $30 million dollar tax debt, Willie's pockets were a little deeper than the rest of ours."

I have included a video of the advert below for anyone reading this not in the UK who may not have the foggiest what I'm on about. For the rest of you - don't watch this shite (it's rammed down your throat anyway).