Old Age Terrorists #95 African Bloke Dies

Sending AIDS to Africa is working. 

In death we are supposed to celebrate life, honouring a loved one. This is not the case with the elderly who, as avid readers should know, are being culled by the winter, in hospital wings and in modern abattoirs, also know as the care system. Their deaths are not mourned but celebrated in the corridors of power as they relinquish their burden to the state. This is because old people are sponging terrorists and it just so happens some are more notorious that others, when clearly there is a pattern here.

#ComicRelief Fat Australians to Donate Fuel

Beaudesert Local (left) pictured with Les.

As avid readers will know I accumulated an online stalker in my divine quest to solve the many ailments of our modern age. I have become rather fond of his territorial pissings on the deserved targets of his ire - that and the great distance between us of course.

#OccupyFriday Finding Nemo vs. the Kraken

Incoming!!! 
[Piss] Artists impression of Kraken in search of Proper Gold

GingerZilla EXCLUSIV: Sources have revealed that the Royal Australian Navy (RAN*) have mobilised to protect Nemo and his friends from the Kraken. Other sources have even spoken of Jumping Sharks caused by Global Warning tax.

But even I did not realise the tremendous peril on the other side of the world. Behold:

Scotland Braves Sun[god]'s Wrath

Conclusive Proof It's Grim Up North

I warned a long time ago about the threat from the North. Those naughty Scots have been very naughty by wanting independence in defiance of the Unionists and Tory Party. That is why staunch government sources are saying the 165mph winds recorded on Thursday are punishment from God.

Warning from the Sun God: I'm Gonna Eat You

Back in 2007 this mysterious video appeared online showing us the future if we did not worship the Sungod again.

Loch Ness Monster Seen on Surface of Sun

French sources have been watching the power of the Sungod and have said :

"the giant prominence is evolving very fast now ! When I started imaging it was looking like a Diplodocus !

I am no skilled amateur at this. I am truly gifted because I was given the gift of sight after experiencing 17 aftershocks. The gateway opened on 11/11/11 did not let in Dinosaurs and was not a metaphorical message to dig trenches, which German Chancellor Angela Merkel used just so she could mention the war. It's not a dinosaur, it's not a serpent or even a Chinese fire dragon, it's clearly a Nessie.

New Message from Sungod Revealed*

Solar Gateway. 

Pay Attention the People of Earth for now is the Time to Believe in what I have foreseen.

Solar Weather Readings from NOAA

Brought to you by:

N.A.S.A. 

Interpreted by Giggle, Psychic Cloud Sourcing** and using the theories put forward by Agent Arsenal Bob. He is about to discover the Joy of Panda Love.

*If  anyone denies this (and I haven't asked them if I'm honest - I tried psychically but got an engaged tone) then no one will believe them. Belief is a choice. Beliebf is not.

(**) Any links discovered by Psychic Cloud Sources may only exist in their own heads, but that's not the point. The Geek shall inherit the Earth. The Greeks on the other hand have lost their inheritance to the Kraken. He only had to threaten the fallen empire of Rome before the money lenders set up the Tithe by Direct Debit.

The Power of 42 Incoming!

M1 Coronal Mass Ejection
Image: Spaceweather

 The Sun God has spoken to me and space people have shown me that the prophesy is true:

"Although the eruption was not squarely aimed at Earth, the CME is likely to deliver a glancing blow to our planet's magnetic field on Nov. 11th or 12th. This could add to the impact of another CME already en route. The earlier cloud was propelled by a filament eruption (movie) on Nov. 7th and is also expected to deliver a glancing blow on Nov. 11th." Space Weather

Today is 11/11/11 (11/11/11 in US format) which could well be binary and is very bad news. However for the sake of mankind I shall combat this with my amazing mathematical skill and convert this to the magical 42. I just can't be bothered to write it up at the moment.

Starbucks latte - made with the Devils Spunk!*

How I Nearly Sold my Soul to Corporate Coffee (The Bastards)

I often wonder 'what if' and I blame the evil that is work for making me appreciate the values of blue sky thinking which leads to equal measure of my Genius and Insanity. Sometimes that means such a fanatical attention to detail it is easy to have many goldfish like moments. To avoid this state requires fuel. I believe this should be paid for by employers and that instant should be banned in the workplace**. I want my revolution fuelled on damn good coffee and not from some monkey swinging inside the coffee bar who is a bastard not a barista.

Some things are just too important to compromise. Lava and Java are as important to each other as they are to communication in our virtual world. Without coffee we fundamentally change as people as this YouTube evidence shows:

Old Age Terrorists #3 Grey Dawn

Inexperienced 53 year old Trainee Terrorist 

Australians today were thanking the Sun[god] that a suspected terrorist attack by the East Sydney branch of Al-Falafel was foiled by the trainee terrorists inexperience. My sources tell me that had the pilot been older there would have been carnage. As it was no one was seriously harmed:

Old Age Terrorists Part 2: Tony Bennett 9/11 Shocker

Singing 'God Bless America' or did he insert subliminal messages to Al Falafel? 

I could argue that crooner and World War II Tony Bennett is a bigger Twit than Liverpool's Nathan Eccleston, but he made his comments on 9/11 on the Howard Stern show. As he is an old person and because he does not support the Total Perpetual War on Terrorism he must therefore support terrorism. This is the logic I have been taught by the media and I will not listen to or read his words. But you can:

Shocking GONADS Discovery

Today I can reveal that the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Understanding in Science (GONADS) have made an important discovery that may change the face of the planet as we know it.

Western Democracy - A Study in Tyranny & Euro Pop

Apologists for the war in Iraq are inclined to say things which equate to 'what a damn noble thing, well teach those bloody savages about democracy and freedom' - this is the ones who have given up their futile WMD/Al-falafel fantasies and now harp on about how brutal Mad Sad really was (he was a ‘Hitler‘ who ate dogs and boiled up bunnies - rather than dropping depleted uranium on their heads, which is a good thing!). So in line with their ability to stretch the realms of truth I wonder if these words were uttered by Dubbya and Tony Bliar circa. solar cycle 23

GB: "I shall give a propagandist reason for starting the war, no matter whether it is plausible or not. The victor will not be asked afterward whether he told the truth or not. In starting and waging a war it is not right that matters but victory." (1)

TB looks up as he zips up GB's trousers and dabs his lips with a hankie "but millions could die your liege. The sheeple may get a bit miffed and your Bin Laden friends may join in the resulting melee. Iraq will even more devastated than we've made it in the last decade."

GB "Perhaps it is well that it should be so, for certain nations must be decimated. But even if it were not, nothing can be done about it. It is obvious that if humanity is condemned to die of hunger, the last to die will be our two peoples." (2)

In case you hadn't guessed, these two particular statements were in fact by Hitler, Goebels and Goring respectively. Whilst Dubbya and his grinning sidekick are not quite in their league, I was surprised by how many parallels I drew whilst reading the rather enlightening Hitler - A Study in Tyranny (having sat on my shelf for the past two solar cycles).

It just begs the question what the fuck is wrong with their souls? Is this what power and the quest for power do to the human soul? I don't have an answer, however I have been thinking of a solution to this and I believe I have found a way to kill two birds with a one stone:

When on the Tuesday Double Monday that I finally seize power - I am rounding up all these genocidal freaks and the mewling cabbages that pass themselves off as their supporters/sympathisers. Then I am packing them off with the purveyors and producers of Euro Pop to the Isle of Wight (this is my stone by the way) who will provide the entertainment. The camp will be run by Butlins whilst they all await trial for their crimes.

The Vengaboys may yet save humanity!

(1) Allan Bullock 'Hitler - A Study in Tyranny' pp527

(2) ibid. pp660

Club 18:30 Basra

According to the latest good news Basra could be the holiday destination of choice soon.

It is such a classic, hopeful piece. I particularly loved this:

'With Gordon Brown signalling a troop withdrawal of troops by mid 2009, it's a case of teaching, training and leading by example to get the Iraqi Army, police and provincial councils to continue the work the British Army has started...'

and this:

 'Whether the Iraqis can succeed in transforming the city after the British leave remains to be seen.'

See all along those naughty Iraqi's just needed a damn good lesson! Bloody savages!