#ComicRelief Fat Australians to Donate Fuel

Beaudesert Local (left) pictured with Les.

As avid readers will know I accumulated an online stalker in my divine quest to solve the many ailments of our modern age. I have become rather fond of his territorial pissings on the deserved targets of his ire - that and the great distance between us of course.

Sun[god] to Dave Kiss my Ring

When they said it was a very hot curry...

For the past few days I have been in a deep comatose state trance communicating with the Sun[god] asking why cats are allowed to exist and why there is a such a lack of media frenzy about faith facism*

Pret withdraws 'Virgin Mary' crisps bbc.co.uk/news/uk-213060… Christofascists! Coming over here trying to put us under Vatican law #FaithRage

— theGingerZilla (@thegingerzilla) February 2, 2013

Leaked Email Shocker: Massive Doom to Bring Peace

Sarkozy and Assad raising army of the dead

Certain bells are not ringing but pounding in my head and I am trembling having seen the portents that threaten doom boom. Whilst the media are beating the drum to convince us that the only way to save brown people is to bomb them to salvation, dark forces have been plotting a jolly good carve up of the gold, because it's always about gold. The public, heavily sedated in spirit are unaware of a secret deal between the government in waiting and the vast administration eagerly awaiting a new assignment in the Arab world. Bob, who speaks French - the alleged language of diplomacy - was sent this stunning classified document from ‘official sources' who wish to remain anonymous. 

re: Minutes meeting of thee Spiritual Leader and Ambassador 

Old Age Terrorists #14 Fuelling Panic

Oldies have a history of fuelling protest 

I have uncovered a secret plot by the elderly, however first some news...

Old Age Terrorists – They Hate our Freedom

If this scarf doesn't convince you I don't know what will.
Image: allhalloween.net

Update: Since I wrote this policy proposal, I have attracted the attentions of one Les Johns who is stalking me. He is a self described "old bastard virtually on the lam from Queensland police who promised a mental evaluation test." As he seems to have cracked my code of small font I am reducing the font ever more in the hope to confuse him. This should be easy considering his age, however never discount what an old determined person can do as I highlight below. 

********************

An innocuous radio advert* in 2010 by the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo) was banned by the Advertising Standards Agency (ASA) because it "could cause serious offence." I am offended by this decision, as avid readers of this blog should know by now. 

When I casually mentioned this to someone they replied they said it reminded them of Old Age Pensioners. But I know that all is not as it seems. It is perfectly reasonable to suspect everyone, even your granny, After all, if we want to stop terror we must do everything to stop Old Age Terrorists (OAT’s).

Binge Drinking - The New UK Citizenship Test

Alcohol Consumption by Country.
The best way to screen against terrorism and Asylum Seekers from many brown countries.
Image: Wikipedia

Alcohol is an elixir and is essential for a functioning society. As I have argued before:

Communism only collapsed when Mikhail Gorbachev could no longer provide the potatoes to make more Vodka. Why else do you think Boris Yeltsin was the loudest voice leading the calls for Gorby to step down?

Science is also coming round to my way of thinking too:

It Takes MI5 to Point Out That The Sun Still Shines in the Sky

A couple of stories that take no stretch of the imagination. Having said this I'm still wondering where the Bus Driver comes into all this....

MI5 report challenges views on terrorism in Britain

[The MI5 Report] concludes that it is not possible to draw up a typical profile of the "British terrorist" as most are "demographically unremarkable" and simply reflect the communities in which they live.
The "restricted" MI5 report takes apart many of the common stereotypes about those involved in British terrorism.
They are mostly British nationals, not illegal immigrants and, far from being Islamist fundamentalists, most are religious novices. Nor, the analysis says, are they "mad and bad"....The security service also plays down the importance of radical extremist clerics, saying their influence in radicalising British terrorists has moved into the background in recent years.

MI5: media & governments "make statements that are unwittingly or deliberately provocative."

Law enforcement to disrupt existing networks remains vitally important, MI5 says, but the impact of those who unwittingly exacerbate the perception of threat and marginalisation must not be neglected. "Sections of the media, our own and allies' governments can sometimes make statements that are unwittingly or deliberately provocative. Non-Muslim groups (eg rightwing extremists) can also stoke false fears and resentments, which can heighten the perception of threat in Muslim communities," the report says.

Grizzly Bears & The Sun says...it Must be True!!!

To my eternal shame I sometimes read the Sun - though in my defence I do not buy the paper and only look to see what the sharp end of the latest propaganda from the Antipodean Beast is. Unlike the broadsheets owned by the Antipodean Beast who often use mealy words, the Sun don't mince theirs - although they do make them up on many an occasion. (I am expecting them to pronounce 'Let's Bomb Russia' in the next few days!)