Hacking the Detectives*

A senior Met Police detective has been convicted of trying to sell information on the phone-hacking probe to the tabloid at the centre of the scandal. [Detective Casbah], at the time the most senior female investigator in Scotland Yard's counter terrorism command, denied asking for cash - and said she had contacted the newspaper out of the public interest. [she] told the jury she was angry that her superiors at Scotland Yard had decided to divert officers from counter terrorism.

Old Age Terrorists #21 Reclaim Ram Raiding

Do we wait until there's nothing left in the bank?
Old people do your duty for your country.

Open Season on the bankers has been declared. Underneath the media sensationalism and faux political rage at the bloody bankers we see the whole edifice crumbling. With hyper inflation, anarchy and the Kraken visiting coastal Europe being just around the corner, it can only be a matter of time before the extreme measures that are needed to save us from the precipice will be welcomed by the mewling cabbages. Instead of allowing such evil forces to fly above our heads at five am on a Sunday morning because Heathrow has issues with it's penis size, we must embrace the spirit of ancient volcano gods and sacrifice.

My idea of reintroducing Fox Hunting replacing foxes with Conservative MPs, was sadly not taken up by the Coalition, however. They have taken the spirit of my policy ideas to heart and have substituted their place [of being grossly unfit and detested by the people] with bankers fresh from their bonuses. Someone always has to take flack and these fattened calves are now being prepared for the greatest televisual spectacle of all time.*

Why I Hate Pussy – A Conversation with a Hairy Dog

In the interests of open debate,  it is only fair to ask a dog for his opinion* 

ADVERT BREAKAGE

Three high solstice ago: "the web and tabloid worlds were outraged that someone had the courage to stand up and finally put a cat, that if we are being honest, was asking for it, in a bin"

This view is not the most popular despite fanatical levels of persecution, prosecution and party political prostitution in the viral and real worlds. Despite the offensiveness of the language these hardcore views are shared by millions of vicious and very vocal followers. The following interview was made possible through a Vulcan Mind Meld, Bovril and a chunky calculator. A thoroughbred Mongrel, represents a group who have been accused by some, mostly cats, of being extreme lobbyists. They prefer to describe themselves as a ‘non-profit organisation' with the explicit aim of more 'dog oriented' understanding and research in science. The call for the elimination of cats in their manifesto is they claim, 'based purely upon the science'. Let's face it a Dog won Britain's Got Talent - a cat stand's no chance of becoming best of British no matter how many cute propaganda videos YouTube can spew up from it's vaults

Police Strike to Help Hard up Public

Hidden amongst all the panic over pasties and petrol is a very real threat of general strike infiltrating the police. As anyone who has ever seen Robocop, the thought of a strike by the rank and file police would introduce anarchy to every street across these Bastard Isles. Instead of shaking down this corrupt profession (as corrupt as any profession with power) to root out the bad seeds and making sure they are well paid, I decided to look at the view from the plod first

Recent events have shown that the thought of a police strike would not induce panic buying ahead of potential riots that may be brought on by the strike. *Why would the English public panic buy goods when they can wait for the start of the strike and help themselves to shop contents for free? townpoliceclauses

Dark Matters: Spray Painting your InitIation*

NASA, ESA and R. Massey (CIT)

3D [*third eye] distribution of dark matter in the Universe

I am working exclusively today on a new TV program**. The stars are real cops that play cops and robbers with toy weapons, bringing the gritty realism of the streets of Belfast (c. 70's-80's) and Belgrade (c. 1962) bang up to date on the streets of England and Wales. It will be a good old dirty youth fight, with plastic bullets and water cannons daily on prime time Daily Express TV (Channel 5). If this happens during a cold spell this could be excellent as we watch protesters freeze to the spot, making beautiful living (for a short time) ice sculptures.

Old Age Terrorists – They Hate our Freedom

If this scarf doesn't convince you I don't know what will.
Image: allhalloween.net

Update: Since I wrote this policy proposal, I have attracted the attentions of one Les Johns who is stalking me. He is a self described "old bastard virtually on the lam from Queensland police who promised a mental evaluation test." As he seems to have cracked my code of small font I am reducing the font ever more in the hope to confuse him. This should be easy considering his age, however never discount what an old determined person can do as I highlight below. 

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An innocuous radio advert* in 2010 by the Association of Chief Police Officers (Acpo) was banned by the Advertising Standards Agency (ASA) because it "could cause serious offence." I am offended by this decision, as avid readers of this blog should know by now. 

When I casually mentioned this to someone they replied they said it reminded them of Old Age Pensioners. But I know that all is not as it seems. It is perfectly reasonable to suspect everyone, even your granny, After all, if we want to stop terror we must do everything to stop Old Age Terrorists (OAT’s).