VolcanoPorn #2 Dragon Enters Fujisan

On the day after the eighth Double Monday of the Mighty 12,
the fightback against the forces of the Death Star commenced. 

Meanwhile back in 1897, A painted 'dragon [rose] out of smoke near Mt. Fuji, ascending towards the sky' evoking ancestral memories of those who had ploughed beneath her.

ADVERT BREAK: PETA Meat Slap Panda Controversy

Feminists at the New Statesman are again viciously attacking Panda's [the most Zen creature in the known universe]:

unlike say, the Ryanair advert banned this week for objectifying its staff, this PETA advert doesn't in the slightest make me want to go vegan. In fact, quite the opposite. So not only will I happily call them out, but I'm going to smother myself in foie gras and panda steaks.

I don't do typos. I do smut it's a populism and boobs thing.

ADVERT BREAK: Tory vs. Salmon (ft Nazi Panda Bear)

Some have speculated this Panda is in a medically induced coma, some have even said they are performing a nuanced interpretation of the last days of our economy as it turns into a zombie leaving the viewer wondering how long the apocalypse can feature in sequels. Yet when viewed through the softened lens of the Theory of Bob, one can see the Panda exploring the light within and without. In a single gesture this Panda has conveyed all there is to be said for the economic and weather forecasts for 2012 yet leaves us with hope. In a powerhouse performance that must surely be entered for this year's Turner Prize, we are shown the solar kick, not once but twice 1-2 confirming it's mystic origins. 

Dark Matters: Spray Painting your InitIation*

NASA, ESA and R. Massey (CIT)

3D [*third eye] distribution of dark matter in the Universe

I am working exclusively today on a new TV program**. The stars are real cops that play cops and robbers with toy weapons, bringing the gritty realism of the streets of Belfast (c. 70's-80's) and Belgrade (c. 1962) bang up to date on the streets of England and Wales. It will be a good old dirty youth fight, with plastic bullets and water cannons daily on prime time Daily Express TV (Channel 5). If this happens during a cold spell this could be excellent as we watch protesters freeze to the spot, making beautiful living (for a short time) ice sculptures.

Pandamonium #2: Pandagate Vs Red Feminist Conspiracy

Panda's sit back and admire.
This gate is designed to achieve the highest states of consciousness
No keepers were harmed in the making of this gate
Image: Wikipedia

Nothing you may have read on the #PandaGate furore is anything other than hyperbole from the ill informed. No one on this earth is as knowledgeable as I am when it comes to understanding the true nature of the most Zen creature in the known universe - Panda's.

ADVERT BREAK: Even More Panda Love

Panda's are Zen. You do not mess with them.

And you do not question my predictive and proven power of understanding the cosmic riddle of 42 and 12:12. Do not doubt Agent Bob. I have sources everywhere and I prepare to make this truly the season of goodwill: