Why Irish Bastards Drink*

You would love Ireland. We have two seasons. In Winter the rain is cold. In Summer the rain is warm.
We see funny round things in the sky occasionally. People say they are the Sun and the Moon, but we never see enough of either to be sure :-) turning up the heating

Instead of just getting drunk and having a good time we should pause and contemplate that there is a greater need to reflect on the deep irony of celebrating driving the snakes from Ireland when it is once again infested with a den of vipers. Behold;

The four-leaf clover is an uncommon variation of the common, three-leaved clover. According to tradition, such leaves bring good luck to their finders, especially if found accidentally. Wickedpedia

This is of course LIES! A four leaf shamrock brings a curse especially if you find two together and pick up a penny.  He who finds such dark tokens will be visited thrice by shitty misfortune.

* welcome new readers and know this; we are proud to be Bastards it is a good thing. To be french is not which is why we must invade Normandy again. I am considering launching the offensive under the cover of eurovision.

ADVERT BREAK: Tory vs. Salmon (ft Nazi Panda Bear)

Some have speculated this Panda is in a medically induced coma, some have even said they are performing a nuanced interpretation of the last days of our economy as it turns into a zombie leaving the viewer wondering how long the apocalypse can feature in sequels. Yet when viewed through the softened lens of the Theory of Bob, one can see the Panda exploring the light within and without. In a single gesture this Panda has conveyed all there is to be said for the economic and weather forecasts for 2012 yet leaves us with hope. In a powerhouse performance that must surely be entered for this year's Turner Prize, we are shown the solar kick, not once but twice 1-2 confirming it's mystic origins.