Leaked Email Shocker: Massive Doom to Bring Peace

Sarkozy and Assad raising army of the dead

Certain bells are not ringing but pounding in my head and I am trembling having seen the portents that threaten doom boom. Whilst the media are beating the drum to convince us that the only way to save brown people is to bomb them to salvation, dark forces have been plotting a jolly good carve up of the gold, because it's always about gold. The public, heavily sedated in spirit are unaware of a secret deal between the government in waiting and the vast administration eagerly awaiting a new assignment in the Arab world. Bob, who speaks French - the alleged language of diplomacy - was sent this stunning classified document from ‘official sources' who wish to remain anonymous. 

re: Minutes meeting of thee Spiritual Leader and Ambassador 

The Year of the Panda

The K Index can't be arsed and is doing a Panda

The Sun is continuing to defy the best efforts of David Cameron and Nicholas Sarkozy who sent a missile into the face of the sun because it wasn't doing what they wanted. The Sun has now flatlined in protest. 

Imagine this Hairy Ass Doing a TeaBag in your face
Image: Wikipedia

The Lying Bastards* are Innocent

Such is the state of our democracy that journalists complain about protesters being 'self-appointed'

and serial bigots the Daily Mail along with serial hackers the Sun (who can never say sorry enough for Hillsborough or for their sister hacking dead soldiers) seem to be directing policy:

Then we hear that following this exchange "for several days there was media silence in France...a decision had been taken not to embarrass the French president":