The Kraken in Fishy Figures

The Kraken, wanted for Mass Fish Kill and iffy Greek Entry.*

This awaits moderation. I am disappointed as I didn't call anyone a Kraken denier or accuse them of being a member of UKIP although I, like most Bastards, would benefit from a pub lock in

This clearly pants science and I cannot rule out a possible wedgie being performed upon the public but I digress. Many comments have made salient points for alternative theories but alas like this paper they are wrong. 

First consider the dead stinky fish turning up on our beaches. Whilst many theories are propounded ignore them. If you have watched a Hollywood horror film [Quaid et al] or even read a fictional book you will know this behaviour is a stampede driven by fear. Secondly consider my sage words when we were faced with The Hybrid Global Warning Sharks (of the Climate Apocalypse) [Trademark pending] when it was

#SundayZilla Santas Sack Linked to Child Cruelty*

Capital Punishment for the Pervert.

RT: "@boingboing: Santa sacked dlvr.it/2bm8hW" < Santa's sack linked to child cruelty? :-)

— theGingerZilla (@thegingerzilla) December 7, 2012

I am amazed that Santa has not yet been linked with the Jimmy Seville(*) investigation. Like many other gray haired males famous in the sixties and seventies that had access to children, Santa must be expecting a knock on the door any time soon. 

Binge Drinking - The New UK Citizenship Test

Alcohol Consumption by Country.
The best way to screen against terrorism and Asylum Seekers from many brown countries.
Image: Wikipedia

Alcohol is an elixir and is essential for a functioning society. As I have argued before:

Communism only collapsed when Mikhail Gorbachev could no longer provide the potatoes to make more Vodka. Why else do you think Boris Yeltsin was the loudest voice leading the calls for Gorby to step down?

Science is also coming round to my way of thinking too:

Old Age Terrorists Part One

Is it youth we should fear or old codgers? They all scare me...

Image:  http://inanities.org/

"A group of septuagenarians who took over a tour bus and crashed it defended their actions last night...We were asked to go on this fucking tour. We didn’t invite ourselves,” Mamdouh Shaheen said as he walked away from the debris." Continued @ Inanities

 I must look into this scourge, I may have stumbled across a new conspiracy. Hmmmm

Update:
Read the shocking Truth about old codgers in:

Old Age Terrorists - They Hate Our Freedom

 

Occupational Drugs Not Occupational Hazards

Making your Employer pay for your Drug habit!

If you work for most British companies, provided they are not run by fanatical religious zealots, then you will no doubt be aware of a beer bust. For the uninitiated, a beer bust is when your employer pays for alcoholic drinks on pay-day (or thereabouts). Whilst to some this may sound great, in the cold sober light of day, this incentive is not worth the stuff I tend to piss out after a beer bust. Like anything that emanates from the great corporate deities, you must always question their reasoning, for there is no such thing as a free lunch. So why do employers want to get their employees wasted?