The Kraken in Fishy Figures

The Kraken, wanted for Mass Fish Kill and iffy Greek Entry.*

This awaits moderation. I am disappointed as I didn't call anyone a Kraken denier or accuse them of being a member of UKIP although I, like most Bastards, would benefit from a pub lock in

This clearly pants science and I cannot rule out a possible wedgie being performed upon the public but I digress. Many comments have made salient points for alternative theories but alas like this paper they are wrong. 

First consider the dead stinky fish turning up on our beaches. Whilst many theories are propounded ignore them. If you have watched a Hollywood horror film [Quaid et al] or even read a fictional book you will know this behaviour is a stampede driven by fear. Secondly consider my sage words when we were faced with The Hybrid Global Warning Sharks (of the Climate Apocalypse) [Trademark pending] when it was

Will the Last Rich Person to Leave Please Turn Off the Lights

Grand Larceny or Grand Arsony?

It has come to my attention that Profit George has insisted the "rich will lose [a] greater share of income" after spending the last two years dedicated to telling us that even the mention of paying more/anything would set off a mass stampede. Woe we had been told even if they did not flee then they would feel so miserable and oppressed that it would be like the worst thing like ever! Therefore Profit George's actions in singling out the rich for corporate punishment must be treated like a sneezing chicken in a lift.

Old Age Terrorists Part 6 #OccupyMonday

I can't believe I missed the significance of this. The seniors are trying to take over the Occupy movement. This can never be allowed to happen. We must pacify them first by threatening to reduce their winter fuel payments even more. I am also very concerned by the opening sentence of this piece:

Occupy Chicago is about to learn what civil disobedience was like back in the day.

Civil disobedience back in the day