#BorderWars on Drugs

Steven Seagul may be called into action following the lastest escalation in a war the media have been passing off as a border dispute.

Panda+Love on Drugs*

It's reported that several pandas suffered from depression and anxiety after the earthquake, but the Taiwan Pandas, Yuanyuan (left) and Tuantuan (right) are still in good shape.

When we read of traumatic events happening we soon move on. Those left behind don't have much choice to move on as their brain signals get stuck in the kind of repeating loop that would make most dance music producers wet their pants.

Does Santa Drink Piss?

"it is safer to drink the urine of one who has consumed the mushrooms than to eat the mushrooms directly, as many of the toxic compounds are processed and eliminated on the first pass through the body.It was common practice among ancient people to recycle the potent effects of the mushroom by drinking each other's urine. The amanita's ingredients can remain potent even after six passes through the human body. Some scholars argue that this is the origin of the phrase "to get pissed," as this urine-drinking activity preceded alcohol by thousands of years." Christmas Sauce.

Dave Rides Horse in Fake Prescription for Glue Scandal

Look into the horses eyes and tell me it's not bricking it.
It's even had its tail cut for ease of access.
No wonder they speak of posh people being 'horsey'

Is Dave the Lizard having possible relations with a horse and is this linked, in a statistically possible but highly improbable way with sex, drugs and animals? We know from previous cases this can never be a good combination and is most likely illegal in all known territories. 

Earth Mother Porn #2 Got Wood

I have always been wary of tree huggers like Cosmetic Brain Surgery. 

They say if you adopt a tree it can reduce your carbon footprint, however this takes a lifetime. Whilst planting a tree and watching it grow is very Zen thing, it doesn't offer much in the way of instant gratitude and is unlikely to help the economy in the short term, even if it would help our lives in the long term. Therefore with this in mind I propose a new stimulus...

More disturbing pictures follow when you read the...

Sun[god] Latest: #Manumission for CASH

Whilst distracting everyone with the Phoney War with France, the Bastards have been working hard behind the scenes to develop Europe's own Star Wars Programme. GingerZilla exclusively revealed how a missile clearly hit the Sun[god]. Now the Coalition Against Scylla Haters (CASH) have launched another attempt to control the source of our power. This time however the Sungod was ready and deflected the so called 'Comet Lovejoy*' but showed mercy by letting it live.

Starbucks latte - made with the Devils Spunk!*

How I Nearly Sold my Soul to Corporate Coffee (The Bastards)

I often wonder 'what if' and I blame the evil that is work for making me appreciate the values of blue sky thinking which leads to equal measure of my Genius and Insanity. Sometimes that means such a fanatical attention to detail it is easy to have many goldfish like moments. To avoid this state requires fuel. I believe this should be paid for by employers and that instant should be banned in the workplace**. I want my revolution fuelled on damn good coffee and not from some monkey swinging inside the coffee bar who is a bastard not a barista.

Some things are just too important to compromise. Lava and Java are as important to each other as they are to communication in our virtual world. Without coffee we fundamentally change as people as this YouTube evidence shows:

Cameron Forgives Greece and Rioters but will the Kraken

An Artists Impression of the Tithe Collection in Greece
[Image: Wikipedia]

GingerZilla News: If you believe, it will come

Politicians in Europe go into a cyclical frenzy of saying they need more money to pay the banks and credit agencies, but my sources have revealed the shocking truth.

The banks and credit agencies have a chosen few who take the offerings to the coast and then hide. After the great crashing of waves has subsided they come out and find the tithe has been taken.  Although no one has seen it and there's not even a hoax video on YouTube, we can reveal that it is the Kraken that appears in Greece every few months to collect a tithe before disappearing back into the warm Mediterranean Seas. It was hoped that the continued offerings would limit the appearances to Greece, however there have been rumours of sightings off the coasts of Ireland, Spain, Portugal and now Italy, which deeply upset those hoping their version of Judge Judy would distract the locals. Some reports even suggested an appearance off the Coast of Libya earlier this year, however sources claim the locals' Nescafe had been spiked with hallucinogens and made them go a bit tutti fruity.

War on Mexico - Are Republicans on Drugs?

A PICTURE CAN BE WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS: 

RICK PERRY EDITION

Swapping Smoking for Smack

Although to be honest I'm not sure, but at least that's what I think the latest anti-smoking warning  on a packet of cigarettes is trying to tell me.