Penguins to Communicate with Sun[god] During Solar Eclipse

These are indeed dark times, about to get even darker.

Penguin solar eclipse. With the new moon on Tuesday, double monday April 29, at exactly 2:14 a.m. EDT, the lunar disk will partially cover the sun over Australia, a partial solar eclipse. Farther south, a lopsided annular “Ring of Fire” eclipse will occur near the horizon for a tiny, uninhabited sliver of Antarctica. Only penguins will most likely enjoy front-row seats to the sky spectacle.

Now whilst such flights of fancy are reasonable, it must be noted that 21 is sacred as is 42. I am also highly suspicious of anything related to cats and the hate preacher host makes no secret of his nefarious allegiances. GONADS the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Development in Science, have assured me that the consensus of scientist's they asked is that cats are evil representing the greatest threat to mankind and it's biodiversity since the last greatest threat was declared the greatest threat! Cats could well be trying to take control of the vile vorticies.

Blackhole? Bermuda Triangle? Has Porn Solved the Missing Airline Mystery?

This has come in over the wire

The Twitter account of US Airways crashed into a black hole of unknown origin, possibly due to a lack of a landing strip

Bermuda Triangle?
The full unadulterated image 

cc_rider: Damn... I think they just figured out what happened to that missing 777.

Whatthefark: This raises the question, has Malaysia Airlines checked all vaginas for the missing plane? If they have, what were the results? If they haven't, then why not. Cover up? Was it found in the vagina of Malaysia Airlines owner's wife? Were multiple pieces found in multiple vaginas? Farking source

This is an interesting proposition and not without merit, however to accommodate a fully grown aeroplane we need a bigger pussy. 

Old Age Terrorists #3 Grey Dawn

Inexperienced 53 year old Trainee Terrorist 

Australians today were thanking the Sun[god] that a suspected terrorist attack by the East Sydney branch of Al-Falafel was foiled by the trainee terrorists inexperience. My sources tell me that had the pilot been older there would have been carnage. As it was no one was seriously harmed:

ASBO in the Skies

Earlier this year I saw how wonderful it was to not have vicious thugs vandalising our skies. Now as these pictures prove, we should be taking firm action against the ring leaders serve ASBO’s on Stelios and Branson before these yobs take over the skies. These sadistic aerial thugs give a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘broken cloud’.

The picture (right) clearly shows a heartless airborne thug  assaulting a defenceless cloud by viciously slashing right through it. An appalled passerby said ‘I was listening to a nightingale sing when I hear this appalling sound  and I thought I heard a scream. When I looked up I saw the cloud being assaulted and took the picture. It was horrible there were bits of clouds, scarlet in the setting sun, everywhere. The cloud must have been in agony.

They come around the same time every evening  and terrorise the neighbourhood. It was only a matter of time before a cloud got hurt.’

Blue Sky Thinking or Praying to the Volcano Gods

The Airlines are moaning yet again crying into their meagre soup, telling us that when it comes to Icelandic volcanoes called Eyjafjallajokull and safety in the skies:

“airlines are best placed to take the final decisions on whether or not it is safe to fly”

Yes, the people who run corporations (such as airlines) and have a legal duty to their shareholders to make money are of course the best placed to make this decision. And of course, “European governments [should] bail out the airlines with what ultimately is taxpayers' money” for not allowing them to fly last time around.