#FutureHistory: Reclaim Friday13th

“Man, once surrendering his reason, has no remaining guard against absurdities the most monstrous, and like a ship without rudder, is the sport of every wind. With such persons, gullibility, which they call faith, takes the helm from the hand of reason and the mind becomes a wreck.” –Thomas Jefferson, letter to James Smith, 1822

I propose to offer old people as a sacrifice to appease the volcano gods

At this time of the waning, let us hope that the light stays with us in the darkness. Let us 

Evil French Lies*

Whilst researching this article I found this.
Even I could not have made this up.
Google did and someone got paid.

#OccupyTuesday: @LudditeDave < Message in Mudbrick

Probably made from Worm Poo

I mistakenly called Dave the Lizard, Profit. He is a Luddite, believing that when you remove the miasma the problem goes away. Sometimes this works as there are millions of beliebers their enfeebled minds incapable of defending themselves against bullshit. What worries me is that he is increasing his power over his mindless twits. he sucks out their very souls when they follow him. he is the one that must be destroyed. he doesn't even care for the 1% of belibers, as they have no souls.* In any war, Zombies and Grunts are always an expendable commodity. We really do not have long to prepare and the Luddite Dave is wasting time appeasing the Kraken, not fulfilling him. It may be too late for Dave. He will be denied the golden shower and was right to suspect European forces were conspiring against him, but for the wrong reasons. 

#OccupyTuesday Pandamonium

The dangers of saying No to a Panda are not as well known as they should be. Not only is there video evidence of this but my sources confirm:

Though the panda is often assumed to be docile, it has been known to attack humans, presumably out of irritation

This is a perfectly natural response most people have to other people on occasion, like listening to the evil one and his beliebers or when watching the X-Factor which were combined to such effect this week that the UK had a mass protest against him last week.

The Kraken Turns on Profit George

Hi I'm George, 
Closet Book Burner

The Profit George is a false prophet! I believed that he was collecting the tithe for the Kraken so gave him the benefit of the doubt. Now I have have more than doubts as I know he is the repressed alter ego of a closet Book Burner! His venom against books and learning is an anathema. As common decency does not allow him to burn books openly, despite the valiant efforts of the Daily Mail, he is launching a simultaneous war of attrition on education and understanding. Not that I blame him, education has got so bad you might as well start again. Think of all the shopping centres that could be built in school buildings and libraries. Children prefer them to school anyway so why not combine them and cut red tape? It's only fair?

#OccupyTuesday UK to Strike in Protest at bieber*

In League with Santa
All I want for Christmas is Evil to stop

Sometimes there are no coincidences. That the day before Double Monday the government spoke out against the 'militants' and 'hardliners' was no surprise to me just not for the reasons I had been led to believe. 

Avid followers of this blog will already know that:

• My sources have found incontrovertible proof of the wrinkled hand of the elderly at work and how these wily old campaigners know exactly what civil disobedience was like back in the day. 
• That somewhere on the planet it will be a Tuesday. 
• That I have bravely spoken out  out, despite the inherent danger to my person, against the fanatical beliebf of the 1% who follow him*. 
• That the Kraken is somehow involved and will not be happy with people doing Greek impressions. 

XFactor News: #ReclaimXmas Assassination Plot on Santa Discovered

He Who Must Not Be Named at Christmas

It is a well known FACT that NORAD have been tracking elderly northern terrorist Santa since 1957. However, researchers at GONADS, the GingerZilla Organisation for Nurture and Development in Science, have discovered a secret bankers plot to take him out and possibly do unspeakable things to him and Rudolf. They have sent their representatives and lawyers to sound out the locals to see if they are willing to testify. Failing that they will pay for them to testify. Whilst I would generally agree with the capture and possible prosecution of Santa and am deeply concerned that the bankers are messing with powers they do not understand. There is a fit and proper way to deal with these things before going on a mass land grab, even if it is for appearances only. This does bring up the question of why the bankers feel that now is the time to take out Santa?

Monkey Says Murder Beiber

Do as the monkey says. Do as the monkey says.

Bishop Bashing Bieber

Did Gok wear glasses as a child? Did he refuse just in case he looked like Rolly?
Never hit someone wearing glasses unless they are bieber. It's for the greater good. 

It's was so evil that I had no choice but to make it silly to gut his evil spleen with laughter. Do not listen to the Cock One who has ingested record levels of the Dark Lord's wiggly stuff. Put wax in your ears (or alternately don't clean them in the first place) so that you cannot hear the insect frequency that drowns out pure thought.

Alternate Realities on Rapture Day the power of 42*

"Half Naked Fakir." 
Winston Churchill on the
 'evil preacher' accused of converting 
another late 'terrorist' Martin Luther King. 
He looks old and brown so I'm not sure I can trust him. 

I have been been influenced by my latest voice, Cosmetic Brain Surgery, who has been teaching me the words of the Prophet Mo:

"Non-violence is the greatest force at the disposal of mankind.  It is mightier than the mightiest weapon of destruction devised by the ingenuity of man.

STFU David Cameron

I don't agree with the sentiment (see below) but this is a funky tune and as a self confessed mashhead I couldn't help but admire the aesthetics of mashing Max Keiser into a funky song you can dance to.

With a little bit of work - call it 'polishing' - this could and should be released for Christmas to take on the Great Satans: Beliebers and Simon CowellBeasts. I would of course change the words 'David Cameron' because otherwise this will upset the Kraken and he'll demand a bigger tithe. I know no one has ever seen this Kraken but just the sound of it scares me. When it comes to the economy and gold, better safe than sorry.