Asia Swarming With Communist VVasps

Daily Mail readers find this more scary than a Labour government.

In light of the alarming news that broke today of a pending invasion, I release immediately the following report based upon a story from late last year that may have been subject to a D for Denier Notice, but was more likely I couldn't be bothered. It's worse than we thought folks!

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Baron von Sschting, the great leader of the insect insurgency, has a distant communist cousin [Bob is working furiously to translate his name as I write this]. He hates Britain, or rather she, hates everyone equally...with venom*. Unlike gardeners, children and even pharmaceutical companies who see Bees as welcome prosperous friends, a big Communist Chinese^ VVasp sees lunch Behold:

BEE PREPARED

Old Age Terrorists #25 Carts of Death

"It's a Hell's Angels look for people with limited mobility" Image

From my treatise Old Age Terrorists - They Hate Our Freedom

Whilst I concede that not all pensioners are terrorists, just terror suspects, can we afford to take any risks when the future of our civilisation and our economy are at stake?

One earth cycle later my Old Age Stalker Les Johns sends me this disturbing news:

Old Age Terrorists Choking the life out of NHS

The Usual Suspects at the New Coalition's Ill Gotten Feast
#FutureHistory

I can exclusively reveal there is a plot to murder death kill the NHS.

Giant Panda Wildebeest in Meat Photo Shoot

Panda eating Wildebeest
Did the Wildebeest jump or was it pushed? 

Sunshine and Sweetie appear to have settled down well, but the diet of bamboo, whilst great for roughage does not cure the itch from their ancestral bear blood. They want to fish, but just can't be bothered and supermarkets are totally not Zen (and the packets for bamboo shoots are far too small anyway). Chewing bamboo in such immense quantities is worth the effort only if Complete Zen is achieved.* That was until they landed in Scotland and the psychic ether awoke ancient memories and no bear is a bear without salmon. There is no other reason Sweetie and Sunshine would visit Scotland,which would stretch even the wildest realms of the ancient custom of Panda diplomacy.

#OccupyTuesday UK to Strike in Protest at bieber*

In League with Santa
All I want for Christmas is Evil to stop

Sometimes there are no coincidences. That the day before Double Monday the government spoke out against the 'militants' and 'hardliners' was no surprise to me just not for the reasons I had been led to believe. 

Avid followers of this blog will already know that:

• My sources have found incontrovertible proof of the wrinkled hand of the elderly at work and how these wily old campaigners know exactly what civil disobedience was like back in the day. 
• That somewhere on the planet it will be a Tuesday. 
• That I have bravely spoken out  out, despite the inherent danger to my person, against the fanatical beliebf of the 1% who follow him*. 
• That the Kraken is somehow involved and will not be happy with people doing Greek impressions. 

Bob's Dispatch: Conclusive Proof of Left-Wing Bias at BBC

a Daily Mail Readers' Wet Dream

The latest from my source Agent Arsenal Bob. I have redacted some of his comments for the earth is not ready for some revelations yet. For a similar reason do not show this image to Daily Mail readers without Medical Assistance and tissues close to hand. 

MailWorld: Shoulda Held that Front Page!

MailOnline making it up as they go

I take heart from this debacle as it proves what I have known all along about newspapers. They make it up as they go. So do I.